Me: Tom (my surgeon friend) said someone needs to tell your dad's doctor about his drinking.
Primo: Does it matter if he used to drink?
Me: What do you mean?
Primo: Well, he's not drinking now in the rehab center. And I have asked him not to drink when he goes home.
Me: Well that will work.
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TELL THE DOCTOR. ALL OF IT.
ReplyDeleteDoctors assume that patients lie to some extent. But the more info they have, the better decisions they can make about how they handle their patients. They may subscribe a different medication whose side effects are not quite as bad if the patient drinks when they're not supposed to - KNOWING that this particular patient is more likely to do that. Not just may. But is *more likely to*.
And really - what is being violated by telling the doctor "When he says he drinks a little, he means he drinks a bottle of scotch a day. That's his definition of a little."
ACOA and all that, but seriously - break that streak. Rat him out. It's not something that should be a secret. Don't enable it. Plus. Doctors are (in general) really good about not saying "So, your son tells us that you drink like you've been wandering in a desert for 40 years." They know the key to getting backchannel info is keeping what they've gotten confidential. Go ahead and tell them.
- Anonymous Cat
Ditto. Long term alcohol abuse affects organs and systems potentially very badly so it's important for the doc to know.
DeleteSly is The Smartest Man In The Room.
ReplyDeleteThe doctors have told Sly that drinking after his Whipple procedure or with his medicines could have deleterious effects.
Sly, as the Smartest Man In The Room, should be able to infer from that that he Should Not Drink.
If he can't, then that's on him.
Lauren, that's kind of where I go with this. He's not drinking in the hospital - but once he gets home, is Primo supposed to sit on him?
DeleteI am laughing at the polar opposite approaches here! Also wondering what my doctor thinks about me because I never lie to my doc - he is like the IRS - I am too scared to lie because I am the one who suffers if it all backfires. So does he think I drink five times as much as I say I do?
ReplyDeleteTruth to tell, the evil version of me is right on board with Lauren's answer.
DeleteHowever, the version of me that has to live in the real world says that if I am in any way part of somebody's support team, that means ratting them out to their doctor over issues like alcoholism and how bad it is if I'm aware that they're lying about it.
"Okay he's not the best parent, but he's my parent and I'm going to do my best to take care of him (within reason there...)" right kind of thing. And part of taking care of him right would be not standing by and saying nothing while he feeds the doctor extremely false information. No matter how much evil me wants to make him live with the crippling results of his own bad decisions and attitudes.
- Anon Cat
I have heard that doctors double the amount of alcohol that you tell them you drink...
ReplyDeleteThen I am still a light drinker to Dr B.
DeleteI wouldn't be able to live with myself if I knew something (Sly drinks an insane amount of liquor in a day) knowing that his drinking - and the effects of years of drinking like that - might cause him to react badly to certain medications or treatments. So I say, tell the doctor and give Sly his best chance. (And keep your conscience clear! And then Primo won't beat himself up later, thinking, "If only I had told the doctor...")
ReplyDeleteYes, that is one side of the argument. The other side is that people make their own beds. I would be really interested in hearing from others who have dealt with the situation!
DeleteNot all doctors will doubt what you say but if they suspect you have a drinking problem, they will likely double but if you're in good shape, I'm sure they don't. I'm sure Sly's doctor, unless he's a total idiot, suspects he drinks heavily but not all doctors are savvy about addiction. I can't tell you the number of times an alcoholic has been given opiates for pain or a benzo for anxiety ("but he wasn't addicted to that!!!"). Also, some doctors, like some of your posters, think drinking is a matter of choice and will power but to an addict, the urge to use is as strong as the urge to breathe and they need help. Like AA. And there are AAers who might be willing to visit w/Sly in the hospital. No one can talk to an alcoholic better than another alcoholic.
ReplyDeleteMy doctor knows that I have a brownie problem. :)
DeleteHave I missed something? Why was anyone talking about Sly going home at all? I though assisted living was the next step. How could he manage at home when he is still peeing all over himself, not to mention being seriously ill?
ReplyDeleteLuisa, exactly! But Ted thinks Primo should get on this. Ted is an ass.
Delete