Tuesday, December 1, 2015

In which Ted throws out yet another gratuitous insult just because - because I don't know why - because he is a jerk

To: Primo, Jack
From: Ted
Subject: Savings bonds


Jack (and Primo), per our convo, the following chart details the savings bonds from Dad and Doris to (my son). They’re in our bank’s safe deposit box. Hope this helps with your research; for about 9 years they sent a bond around his birthday. The maturity/math/etc. should be self-explanatory. They cease to accrue interest after full maturity (30 years).


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To: Ted, Jack
From: Primo
Subject: Savings bonds

Ted,

What research?

If (your son) and/or his cousins received savings bonds from Mom and Dad, I don't see why they are part of any current discussion. Assuming that the kids' names are on the bonds, they own the bonds and can cash them in at any point in the future (before or after maturity). These bonds were past gifts to the grandchildren and are completely outside the estate and the trust.


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To: Primo, Jack
From: Ted
Subject: Savings bonds

The research I was helping Jack with. Everything is “past.” Why do you start a sentence with “If” when you know the answer? I recall Dad and Doris calling this a “Primo question” back in the late Sixties.

And starting another sentence with “Assuming”? That makes an ass out of you, as they say.

We need to talk soonest

20 comments:

  1. Ted was already an arse (or donkey, your choice), no need to assume.

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  2. does Ted drink heavily? take drugs? those emails make absolutely no sense. Primo needs to learn how to use the delete key.

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  3. Actually it's "assume = ass|u|me," which means it makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me". You know what makes someone an ass? Nitpicking their wording when you understand the intent behind the content.

    This would have been the email that caused me to stop responding to anything Ted had to say or to respond only with "Please consult your lawyer about estate matters. Thank you."

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    1. Yes, the "ass" out of "u" and "me" is how that little joke goes. I remember my 8th grade history teacher writing that on the board the first day of school. It got a giggle from the class because, you know, we were 8TH GRADERS!!! Ted clearly thinks he is being clever, so I guess you are dealing with a pretentious 8th grader. Ugh! What a tiresome, tiresome man.

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    2. My 7th grade science teacher wrote it on the board the first day to help us remember that assumptions were not facts, so we had to question everything until we had evidence to back it up. My 10th grade science teacher did the same thing, but I distinctly remember the 7th grade version for the same reason you mentioned: the class reaction was, "Our teacher said ASS!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" In 10th grade, we just rolled with it, because we heard that word all of the time by that point.

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  4. Now I'm imagining a constant Out-of-Office reply to Ted's email address!
    Ted's an officious ass. He dishes out gratuitous sarcasm and deprecating remarks when he wants Primo to do his bidding. Good luck with that, Ted. (He truly is the Son of Sly.) Ugh, just ugh.

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  5. How has Ted lived so long? I am perplexed as to why he has not yet been drowned in his bowl of soup. Does his wife just have a deaf ear to anything he says? The man is pretentious, self important, and generally despicable. I am so very sorry that you and Primo must deal with this mess.

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  6. Ted's real name gives him the initials A.S.S., doesn't it?

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  7. I can hardly wait to find out what the issue about savings bonds is. These guys are unbelievable.

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  8. As the smartest man alive, you'd think that Ted could solve all of the will and estate issues all on his own. What a jerk!

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  9. "Pardon me, Ted. I was busy dealing with your assumption that I would have a clue what you were talking about despite never having included me in any conversation about it prior to now."

    - AC

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  10. Has Ted been counting on inheritance as part of his long range financial plans? It has been my observation that making inheritance part of such plans is always a bad idea. I come from a family where we have no expectations of inherited wealth (other than furniture and more oil lamps than are sane to own). I believe my siblings and I are happier because we have nothing to fight over. I have seen money come between other families and it can be a relationship destroyer.

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    1. Yeah, I think he has. Based on what Sly and Doris have said (although they certainly are not gospel), Ted and his wife live beyond their means.

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    2. What idiots. IF nothing changes over the next decade or two (or three if we're lucky), my wife and I may very well inherit mid-six figures from my side and mid-six to low seven figures from her side. But we're planning our retirement as if we won't even get Social Security, because it isn't a good idea to depend on things so far outside of our control. Not that we can control how fast our retirement accounts will grow, but we can certainly do something about the contributions and earnings, even if we won't know in advance the exact results of our efforts.

      tl;dr version: Ted should have filmed a financial planner at work instead of a brain surgeon.

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    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    4. Well at least you now have another member of Primo's family to hate and write about.

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  11. The reply to that email was em no we don't. Right?

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  12. Ted needs to STFU soonest.

    Seriously, does this guy have no self awareness??!

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  13. What a wanker he is. (with apols for bad language. But he is.) J x

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  14. Aaaand... this is the point where Primo should tell Ted that all further communication will be between their lawyers. And mean it. What a jerk. FOAD, Ted.

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