Me, reading a novel about a hoarder: Listen to this! "I can't throw that vase away! It can be repaired!"
Primo: You get frustrated watching me be like that.
Me: Yep. And CPS is going to take the kid away in this book because his bed has too much stuff on it - he can't even sleep on it.
Primo: You don't like all the stuff on the bed in the guest room.
Me: Nope. You not only have your own junk, you have imported other people's crap into our house.
Primo: What are you talking about?
Me: You brought a reel to reel tape player from your mom and dad's house into our house!
Primo: But it's an interesting antique!
Me: Then look at photos online.
Primo: It's RARE!
Me: IT IS NOT! It is junk!
Primo: But there are still tapes from my family!
Me: So? Get them transferred to a CD.
Primo: It's not the same!
Later
Primo: Tom [his friend who is visiting] also thinks that a reel to reel tape player is an interesting antique.
Me: You told me that Tom has a ton of old junk in his basement. He is not exactly a credible source.
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... would Tom be interested in taking home a genuine old-timey reel to reel player?
ReplyDeleteThe other day, my godmother went looking to see what was in a drawer, and pulled out a piece of wood and said "what is that?"
ReplyDeleteAnd I looked at it and said "It's the board that used to be a part of something that you then put feet on and had the computer standing on when it was on the floor, and then when we built the shelves under the desk (5 years ago) and rearranged all that we used it to match the stain color for the wood (custom-made desk) and then after that you briefly used it for a telephone stand"
And she said "Right! Got it."
And then she put it back in the drawer I didn't even know existed under her bed.
Now if you get a tour of my godmother's house, you'll find that it's a miracle of hidden storage spaces, all meticulously organized to store as much possible stuff without any of it being visibly "present".
After she put that piece of wood back in the drawer though - I looked at her and said "You know, you're an extremely organized hoarder."
And she looked really happy and said "I know! And none of it shows!"
Someday, I will discover all of it as I am the person designated as her executor and will be the person who clears it all out...
- AC
Reminds me of an episode of one of the hoarder shows where the woman had everything sorted into plastic bins. She didn't get rid of anything even though so many of the items were bought to be given to specific people. But at least her house was in good shape and her health wasn't in danger.
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