Me: How was Stephanie's?
Primo: My mom said it was really nice, but I heard my dad in the background telling her, "Don’t tell Primo about that thing because I don't want it to get back to Stephanie."
Me: Ha! Because you would tell me and I would tell Stephanie?
Primo: Yeah. They think I shouldn’t tell you anything they say.
Me: What? No! You are not operating under the seal of the confessional. I mean, I’d rather not hear anything hurtful that they say about me, but other than that, there is no such thing as privileged communication between your mom and dad and you. The privilege is all between you and me.
Primo: Nope. They think my first loyalty should be to them.
Me: I know we’re not married yet and that your parents are ardent atheists, but surely they’ve heard the part where a man should cleave to his wife.
Primo: I wouldn’t cite the Bible as a source to them.
Me: What don’t they want Stephanie to know? Did you find out?
Primo: I’m not sure. My dad said the turkey was dry. He said he could tell the second he walked into the house.
Me: How can you tell if the turkey is dry before you even see it or taste it?
Primo: My father has many talents. Maybe that’s his superpower – that he can tell if meat is dry just by being in the same house with it.
Me: Is that what's not supposed to get back to Stephanie?
Primo: I don't think so.
Me: I want to know.
Primo: Me, too.