They send him an email from their joint email account.
“We’re totally distraught. You've choosing her over us. Don’t bother to visit.”
The time stamp is
7:00 p.m. their time. Cocktail hour starts at 4:00 p.m. at their house. Don’t
drink and email should be the rule.
Primo: Why are they being so mean? What can I do?
Me: Nothing. They are trying to manipulate you. They are
making their own choices. Let them. Call their bluff.
Primo: But I think they mean it.
Me: You mean that if you marry me, they will never talk to
you again?
Primo: Yes.
Me: What kind of parent does that?
Primo: Mine.
Me: And if they were going to make that threat, why didn’t
they do it before we bought a house together? It’s not like you kept that a
secret.
Primo: I don’t know.
Me: If you want me to, I’ll talk to them. I’ll suck it up.
I’ll apologize. I’ll grovel. Not that it would make any difference. But it
would call their bluff. If I make an abject apology – admit I was wrong, remove
the statement from my blog – then if they refuse to forgive me, they’re the
ones who look bad. You know they won’t let that happen.
Primo: No, that will make things worse.
Me: Actually talking about something that’s upsetting them
will make it worse?
Primo: You know what they are like. You tried that,
remember? You wrote the letter?
Me: That was not exactly successful unless you consider
success your mom asking me to make a list of all the things I don’t like about
them.
Primo: They are totally non-confrontational.
Me: What? Were you not there when your dad screamed at Amy
about the white meat?
Primo: Good point. No, what I mean is that they would rather
talk about you behind your back and be angry than have a conversation. My dad
doesn’t want to fix things. He wants to be angry at someone.
Me: That is a sad way to live.
Primo: It’s not how I want to live. That’s why I went
through all that marital counseling with ex-wife. I do not want to be like my
parents.
I read your posts when Sly and Doris were still alive, and it was clear then that they were, uh, challenging. But now that they're gone and you feel comfortable telling even more of the details of what happened? Wow. I'm so sorry for both you and Primo. And even, in a weird way, for Sly and Doris. They could have been loving and warm and built relationships with you and others. Instead they (primarily Sly) worked to destroy them.
ReplyDeleteGreat Blu is right. And, yelling at Amy was not really confrontational, it was bullying. Had she spoken up and had Sly then had a conversation with her about why she shouldn't eat it (i think it was so that there would be more DARK meat for Sly... right?) then that could have been confrontational. He was totally "my way or the highway". I continue to be amazed that you and Primo are not in heavy duty counseling now.
ReplyDelete