Saturday, August 22, 2015

In which Primo stays up all night to do the taxes and then we fight before he leaves for Sly and Doris'

Primo stayed up all night to finish the taxes.

So he didn't get any sleep and I didn't get any sleep because how can you sleep when you don't know when or if your husband is coming to bed?

And then you think, Well he can sleep on the plane, but then you think, But we have to drive to the airport and Primo always wants to be the driver and even if it's OK going to the airport, how will it be once he is where Sly and Doris live and has to drive the hour from the airport to their house (what were they thinking?). If he gets killed in a car accident, there is almost no life insurance on him because he is no longer working, so his death would not free you from daily labor and strife so it wouldn't even be worth it.

Primo said, "What if they threaten to disinherit me?"

I said, "I would say Thank You Jesus. You could walk away from that madhouse with a clear conscience."

"But I am still the executor of the will."

"So what? Pay someone to do everything. It would come from the estate, which you are not getting any of anyhow."

He was cranky. I was cranky. We fought. We fought over dumb stuff, like how he came to bed at 6:23, two minutes before my alarm was set to go off only of course I was awake because how can you sleep when you don't know what's going on? I was ticked because he wanted me to wake him up in 20 minutes - which is longer than I need for my shower and to start drying my hair, but I didn't want to run the hairdryer if he was sleeping.

Who gets worthwhile sleep when it is only 20 minutes?

And then we fought because it was 6:45 and he would not get his ass out of bed and I wanted to get him to the airport so I could get to work because I don't have enough political capital at this new job to come waltzing in whenever I feel like it.

Then we fought because he thought it was a good idea to put the dry dishes away and to wash the dishes he had put in the sink overnight when he had to eat chocolate cake and ice cream, which I think are perfectly reasonable ways to console onesself when one is pulling an all-nighter at our age.

I pointed out that putting dishes away and washing other dishes was not exactly on the critical path of 1. getting to the airport and 2. getting to work. He said that he just wanted me to come home to a clean house. I said I do not care stop doing the dishes before I punch you in the nose.

I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have punched him in the nose. I have not done that sort of thing for a very long time

Although I am not opposed to using violence when violence is necessary. This woman wrote how she wouldn't have a gun in her house because she could never under any circumstances shoot anyone and I thought, I sure could shoot someone. I would have no problems whatsoever shooting someone who had broken into my home and was coming after me or someone I loved. No problems at all.

Then I logged into my work email and discovered that my 9 a.m. meeting was postponed until 1:00 p.m., which really made me cranky because that meant I would have to go to the gym and be done by 1, but also made getting to work on time not so stressful, only I made the mistake of mentioning it to Primo, who immediately said, "So it's not so critical that we leave at 7:30?" And that ticked me off and we were off and running again.

But then we got into the car and bonded over our shared anger at Sly and Doris and we fumed and talked about how awful they were all the way to the airport and then I apologized to him for being a bitch and he apologized to me for not getting the taxes done before now and for staying up all night and we kissed and it's all good except of course Sly and Doris are going to be pissy again.

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