Various and sundry stuff but no new sex stuff thank goodness

1. Primo and Stephanie are going to sort through Doris' clothes.

"Do you have permission from your dad to get rid of them?" I asked.

"He wants us to separate them into two groups: to sell and to donate."

"Is there much of a market in Florida for ten years out of style, winter clothes for a 5'10", 119-lb woman?" I asked.

"Probably not," Primo answered.


2. Ted flew down yesterday to help out. Primo said he was really nice and that he said nice things about me.

"He doesn't even know me," I said.

"He didn't know that my mom had written to you that you had to earn their acceptance," Primo said.

"They didn't write that to Ted's wife?" I asked.

"Apparently not. They love her."

"Not that I really care, because I don't need your dad's approval, but what does she have that I don't?" I asked.

"Well, she is a liberal," Primo said.

"Yeah, that is the most important quality about a person," I answered.


3. Me: Hey - should I send a card to your dad at home or at the hospital?

Primo: You were supposed to send him a get-well card a long time ago!

Me: I know. I forgot.

Primo: It's because you don't like my dad. You are always right on top of this sort of thing with other people. You always get condolence notes out and you take food.

Me: Well. I don't like your dad. But that's not why I haven't sent a card. [Although it is part of it - I am sucking it up and Doing the Right Thing, but I do not want to.] I just forgot.

Primo: You don't like my dad. But he is not all bad. He loves his kitties.

Me: Well, there is that.


4. Talking to my dad's cousin Greg and his wife, Dolly, telling them about Doris and how Primo has had to find a funeral home and make all the arrangements. Dolly and Greg are in their late 60s and are very healthy and very active.

Me: Have you guys made your funeral arrangements?

Dolly [shocked]: Of course we have! Why would we burden our children with that kind of decision at such a stressful time? I have even picked the music and who is supposed to sing!

5. I thought I had gained seven pounds in one week. I have been stress eating - Primo has been stress losing weight ("I can fit into my  shorts from 20 years ago!" he said.) I should not gain weight over a mean person like Sly.

6. I have been blabbing way too much to complete strangers about the situation. They don't care! I don't need to be the crazy lady who confides in the clerk at the garden shop! What is wrong with me?