Because you want to know what obnoxious thing Ted said and/or did today, right?

From Primo to Ted, in response to Ted's demand that Primo get him a list of the drugs Sly is taking:

I will not include anywhere near this level of detail in a general email to the group. I reviewed the list of people receiving the daily emails and am comfortable with it.
....

The cardiology team has been trying different drugs, and the best explanation the doctor could offer a layperson was that Dad's heart is "sensitive." [GD: WHAAAATTTT? Hardly!]

Here is a medication list that I got from the nurses today.

• tramadol, 100 mg PO (may be discontinued) 2x/day, since day after surgery 
• metoprolol, 15 mg = 15 ml IV slow push (hold for systolic BP < 100, HR < 60), 4 hour interval - For abnormally fast heart rate
• digoxin (Lanoxin), 0.25 mg = 1 ml IV slow push, 6 hour interval (started 5/27; stop after 2 doses) - For atrial fibrillation
• tamsulosin (Flomax), 0.4 mg = 1 caplet PO, QHS [Primo note: One of Dad's regular meds]
• levothyroxine (Synthroid), 100 mcg = 1 tablet PO daily [Primo note: One of Dad's regular meds]
• levofloxacin (Levaquin), 250 mg = 50 ml, IVPB, 24 hour interval (started 5/26) - Antibiotic
• febuxostat (Uloric), 40 mg = 1 tablet PO daily [Primo note: One of Dad's regular meds]

The drugs listed above were on a printed sheet with details; the ones listed below were added in notes written by the nurse.

• pantoprazole (Protonix), 40 mg daily - For short-term treatment of gastroesophageal reflux
• amiodarone - For arrhythmias that are otherwise difficult to treat with medication 
• heparin - Anticoagulant 
• Normal saline - Started today because NG discharge is reduced and there is some concern about dehydration

Let me know if you want even more information.  :)

From Ted to Primo:

Unfortunately, I have personal experience of too many of the drugs below. It’s safe to assume that they are fully aware of his other prescription regimens, I trust (e.g., Uloric).

If I were to write back to Ted, here is what I would say:

Dear Ted, 

Thank you for letting me know we should tell the medical professionals treating Sly that he is already taking some drugs! They never asked because they are THE STUPIDEST DOCTORS AND NURSES IN THE WORLD. And also because no doctors ever ask what medication a person is taking. And because old people are never taking any drugs anyhow.

You have opened my eyes to the very bad decision Sly made in choosing Mayo. I wish we could have a do-over, but perhaps you, who has filmed brain surgeries, can come down here to straighten the docs out.

I am so so lucky you are on the case. Sly will probably die if you don't get here soon.

GD

PS Remind me again what your major was - French, was it? Or was it sociology?