Tuesday, March 29, 2016

In which Primo cannot give away his mother's family photos

Primo stayed with Doris' cousin and Doris' cousin's partner and they buried Sly and Doris' ashes next to Nancy's in the small family cemetery where the cousin lives. DC had supper waiting for Primo when he arrived last night. She got takeout BBQ and you cannot go wrong with takeout BBQ in that part of the world.

But DC did not want any of the boxes of family photos. (Sly and Doris were the polar opposites of my mom, who has all of her photos in albums or in books she has created online. The actual photos are labeled with the date and the names of the people in the photo, which I used to think was dumb.* Then I got photos of my own that are 30 years old and I look at them and think, "Who the heck was that?" My mom also has a lot of stuff, but it is all boxed and labeled. She does not throw away as much as I think she should, but her house is not cluttered or messy. It is neat and tidy and welcoming and if you want some yellow thread or a pink button or a photo from 1973 of my cousins, my mom can put her hands on it in two seconds.)

Anyhow. DC does not want the family photos.

I do not want the family photos.

Primo does not want the family photos.

The difference between Primo and me on the photos is he feels guilty at the idea of throwing them away and I. do. not.

What will happen to the photos? I do not need to import junk from Sly and Doris.

Primo will use the argument that when my mom dies, I will bring her stuff to our house, but he will be wrong. All I want of my mother's is the big yellow mixing bowl she has had since I was a little kid. That's it. Nothing else. I don't want photos or her Lladros or her paintings or books or dishes or clothes. Nothing. I don't need her things to remember her and to love her.

* She also still has all of her negatives and THEY ARE LABELED.

** My mother could run an army.


  1. I repeat: SCAN. SCAN. SCAN!! They won't degenerate, easy to view and no clutter. (I love your Mom.)

  2. It's true, we don't need objects to love and remember people.

  3. Reminds me of my own mother, who also labels the hell out of the stuff. I went over to her house a while back and said I was going to stop on the way home for Chloraseptic, so she whipped out a bottle. It had been expired for 30 years, but she know right where to find it!

  4. I also want my mother's big yellow mixing bowl. I'm certain it is the same bowl.

    1. Yellow on the outside, white on the inside, perfect for making cookies?

  5. Burn the pictures and bury the ashes in the same cemetery. Well, that's what I'd do anyway. I tend to be a little unconventional.

    1. Yeah, but then I would have to travel. I would be happy to burn them at home.


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