Wednesday, March 2, 2016

In which Primo clarifies for me what his parents meant by "Dump 3 liquor boxes for each Monday's trash pick-up"

Primo scanned and sent this list to me.

I think it is fabulous. I think it is great. Caring people who are planning for their death - because we all die - and trying to figure out how to make life easier for the ones they will leave behind.

Primo: Except they never did anything on the list. Not one single thing.

Me: Not one?

Primo: Nope. They had time. My dad had time to watch porn on his computer. If he had time for that, he sure had time to take care of these things.

Me: Oh man! Dump three boxes of booze bottles every Monday?

Primo: No. My mom meant three boxes - three booze boxes - of papers from the spare room.

Me: Oh. But they still had that many liquor boxes that they could do that?

Primo: Yes.

Me: When did they make this list? As in, did they leave me off the jewelry list on purpose? Or was I not around yet?

Primo: I don't know. It was on paper. Let me look on the Mac.

Me: Oh you don't have to. Just curious.

Primo: It's from 2010! You were around!

Me: They hated me.

Primo: Yep. Stephanie was mentioned. [They badmouthed Stephanie all the time.] The other really bad thing about the date of the list is that it was five years ago! They did none of those things in 4 1/2 years!


  1. It's just too bad there was never a jewelry list. I really want to know what they considered the magic bracelet.

    1. The Good Bracelet Worth Lots of Money That Primo is Hiding from Ted?

      I wish I knew what it was, too.

    2. I think that Ted took Sly's comment about the bracelet being the most expensive piece of jewelry he'd bought to mean $$$$. But it's all relative. If everything else you buy is worth $20 then $21 is the most expensive.

    3. Yeah, Sly and Doris did not have expensive tastes.

  2. Did they really call it "Demise Preps"?

  3. It doesn't mention getting rid of the porn etc.! Or is that covered by "Clean files in 3rd bedroom?"

  4. I love (not really) how, even with such a serious to-do list, Sly felt the need to refer to the dresser as "Doris' Folly". Never one to miss an opportunity to put someone down, even from the grave!

    1. I never even thought of that part! Yes, Sly just had to let Doris know that she was not doing it right.


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