I got Primo to agree to donate
- two frying pans
- a small saucepan
- a large wooden cutting board (that he bought years ago and I have never used because I prefer the plastic flexible kind I can roll and guide veg into a bowl, although the plastic ones do melt when left in the oven and the oven is turned on - don't. ask.)
- a set of white towels he brought into the marriage that I hate because they shed and we don't give to guests because we already have a set of blue guest towels
- the red t-shirt sheets we bought and used once and loved but then discovered attract cat hair like no other thing in the world
- the old mismatched tupperware that we put in the basement when we bought a set of Rubbermaid where all the sizes stack nicely
- some wedding gifts that we have never used but have been taking up space in the china cabinet
- a bunch of three-ring binders that contain nothing
- printer paper that we will never use because it is 8x14
- Four jigsaw puzzles I bought at Goodwill for 50 cents apiece and that we have already put together
- Primo's bread machine
- Me: I will make you bread from scratch any time you want
- All the candles I brought into the marriage and we have never used
- a pod coffee maker that may or may not work
- a wooden serving tray I have never used
- Primo: But what if one of us gets sick and needs to have food brought to him in bed?
- Me: You can go hungry
- Primo: You are mean
- A bunch of silver plate stuff - small plates, salt and pepper shakers - that I got from Goodwill thinking I had gotten a great deal only to realize that the Curse of Polishing the Silver was now mine.
- Five emtpy boxes. Yes. EMPTY boxes.
- Primo: But what if we move? Those are the boxes from the coffee thingy/other stuff.
- Me: We. Can. Get. More. Boxes.
What I could not get rid of
- Two different frying pans. That we have not used in the eight years since we moved in.
- The waffle iron I got at the Rochester Minnesota Goodwill for 25 cents when my dad took me thrifting - it only works on a gas stove, but Primo promises he will take care of replacing our horrible electric smoothtop oven - WHICH I HATE - with a gas stove
- The foam thingy that goes on the sofabed in the basement. My philosophy is that our guest accommodations should not be too comfortable.
- Primo: But what if one of us dies and we need to put people from the family up?
- Me: If you die, the only people who will stay here will be my mom, my sister, and my brother and my brother can sleep on the sofa without it being folded out. Ted will not be invited to the funeral and even if he does come, he is not staying in my house.
- This plate, which I made for Primo while we were dating. He is sentimental. I am not.
Primo freaking out upstairs before coming down to the basement:
Me: Could we please get rid of this stuff from your old job?
Primo: Stop! I'm busy!
Me: You said you were working on your mom and dad's taxes.
Primo: I'm editing photos from the delegate meeting today. Look! Daphne got doughnuts made to look like Bernie!
Me: Those are cute!
Primo: I need to get these posted.
Me: But you said you were working on the taxes. I think you need to pay a penalty.
Me: How about getting rid of these three binders from your old job?
Primo: NO! I can't make a decision about that now!
Me: You quit 18 months ago. Even if you would go back to your old job, you would get new materials.
Me: Why can't you make a decision?
Primo: I need to be able to focus on it! It's not a good time!
Me: IT IS NEVER A GOOD TIME!
Primo: Leave it! Besides, what if I go back to OldJob? That might be useful.
Me: Oh, right.
Primo: It is a possibility, you know.
Me: Well all right.