Friday, November 27, 2015

In which Doris and Sly draft an email complaining about Stephanie and me and save it on Doris' computer but they do send the email because I remember when Primo got it

This is the email that was on Doris' computer:

I know that somehow Goldie and Stephanie correspond and have a relationship.  But I don’t understand why, because they have absolutely nothing in common unless it is gossip about our family.  Goldie, by so coldly rejecting me and your mother, made it clear that she doesn’t want to be part of our family.  Please let her know that you don’t want to hear any of the gossip she gets from Stephanie about our family.
Stephanie is our daughter-in-law and the mother of our grandchildren, so we have to get along with her even when we disagree—sometimes strongly—with some of the things she does, especially with the children.  I don’t know if she can bring it off this year with [her youngest child], but she has ALWAYS had the children on the dole for free food at school, which here, anyway, includes breakfast.  The program, of course, is for children who live in poverty, which certainly does not describe their household.*
The main reason we have been unable to penetrate the cocoon they live in has always been how closely Stephanie ties them to her apron strings.  Consequently, the children, particularly the girls, depend on her for everything.  They have never yet taken any kind of pill (medication)--another way for Stephanie to control them.

No one from Stephanie's family—and apparently, none of her “girlfriends”—had gone to college before Michael and Maria, and Stephanie doesn’t know how to deal with that.  Maria needs to have an opportunity to learn how to be independent; even Michael criticizes her for her lack of independence.  Stephanie was aware that Maria's friend drove home every other weekend, so there was no need for Stephanie to go to visit her (the money is a factor to us, but not the only one).  As long as Stephanie has lived here, she has always driven fairly long distances very often, as if gas is free.  Recall that she had already exceeded the mileage warranty on the Mazda van before the month was up, and the place where she bought it was initially not going to honor the warranty when she took it in for whatever problem it had.  I don’t know if Stephanie knew that Maria was coming home this weekend.

Doris: re Stephanie driving long distances: for frivolous reasons.  She often travels to [out of town] stores to select clothing items and other “bargains.” How she paid for Maria's Junior and Senior Prom gowns, I’ll never know. Stephanie also seems to have eaten at every restaurant in the area (except for the very highest priced ones).  From the outside, the kids have enjoyed all the luxuries associated with upper middle class to affluent families.
Remember that before the kids were working part time, she often paid for movie-going at $20ea. She is a true shop-aholic and appears to have no self control about her buying mania.***  
Maria had only been gone 5 weeks before Stephanie visited, which required a hotel and gas for 520 miles, plus the shoppin’ for other of Maria's needs/wants.  She had also prepared food to put in Maria's freezer (meatballs, etc.).**

* I don't even know if that's true. But if it is true, then I want to know how Stephanie ripped off the school district. Oh wait. You have to show tax documents? Then I am guessing that if the kids were on free lunch, it was because Stephanie met the income requirements and nobody else in the family said, "Hey! We can afford to buy lunch for our own children! We will not participate!"

** What a BAD MOTHER - to visit her child in college and take her food?

*** And yet Stephanie has always worked, always paid her own way, and has bought a house since her divorce. She helped her children as much as she could for college. She never asked Sly and Doris for anything. I doubt that she is the spendthrift Sly and Doris claimed, because I know how much she makes and I know she just didn't have the cash. 


  1. The math proving that you and Stephanie are terrible people?

  2. That's rich - first they say that you and Stephanie have nothing in common except family gossip, then they write an email that contains nothing gossip.

  3. She swallowed her pride and signed her kids up for free school meals...visits them at college and takes care of their necessities, and even drives out of her way to scare up deals so they can have nice things. Yup sounds like a horrible woman/mother! Let's flog have next Goldie for bad bacon eating. ;)

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  5. This email has finally convinced me these people are psycho. What a weird and erratic list of why they don't like someone, and how BIZARRE that they expect Primo to tell her that he won't listen to gossip about the family. Weird as hell.

  6. Stephanie invited them to Thanksgiving at her house (at least twice!) and she kept going over to help them out, (even after she and their son were divorced!) And she never asked Sly and Doris for a thing. And their attitude is "we have to try to get along with her!" Stephanie is a saint. I would have exited their lives stage right.

  7. There was a lot of crazy in that email, but this really made me do a triple-take:

    They have never yet taken any kind of pill (medication)--another way for Stephanie to control them.

    What the ever-loving...are Sly and Doris implying that good parents should medicate their children for no reason? I really have NO clue as to what they're getting at.

    1. Yeah, I was wondering about that statement. Too bad the authors are gone, because I would really, really like to know how to control children by NOT giving them "any kind of pill." Imagine what parents would pay for that secret!

    2. And how does *not* giving them any mess equal control? Doesn't that accusation usually go the other way around?

      Sly and Doris--finding the cloud in any silver lining.

  8. Oh yes pls explain what they meant by stating that the kids are not even on any drugs. Like, what??? Of course they can crtiticize stephanie for being such a great mom. Dont u get it???

    She was making Doris look bad!!! Doris probably never did much for her kids. How dare stephanie eat out and care about her kids??? Idiots.


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