Sam called to advise Primo about the will and the IRA.
"They cannot break the IRA," he said. "In the legal field, you never say zero, but it is as close to zero as you can get when you talk about breaking a beneficiary designation on an IRA."
I told him that Primo had suggested that he make Ted and Jack beneficiaries with me on the IRA once it is transferred to him.
"Screw them!" Sam said. "Your dad had ten years - ten years - to change his will and the beneficiary designations. He didn't do it. Why not?"
"Because he had already given a lot of money to Ted and to Jack and he was worried they would waste it," Primo answered.
"That's what I thought," Sam said. "That was your dad's decision. You don't owe them anything."
And more discussion about how Primo thinks Ted is getting screwed a little in this, which he is, but on the other hand, Ted still has his mother to inherit from and Ted has not bothered to have a real job in years because, as he told Primo, he decided he would rather "do good than make money," which is a really nice thing to want to do and is easy to do if you can get someone else to pay your bills, but most of us don't have a rich mother or a wife who is willing to be the main breadwinner.
(I am right now the wife who is the main breadwinner and I do not like it.)
(However, inheriting Sly's IRA could go a long way to taking the sting out of this.)
(I hope Primo takes Sam's advice and does not designate Ted and Jack as partial beneficiaries. I do think there is a somewhat reasonable argument that money from their dad should not go to me, but there is also the reasonable argument that
1. Sly knew he hated me yet did not set up a structure where Primo got the money only until he died and then it reverted to some vehicle for Ted and Jack
2. Primo is inheriting from both his mother and his father, so when you take the total estate, he should get half because that would be from his mother and then he should get one third of his dad's estate. Right now, with the values of the trust and the IRA, Primo is getting slightly less than half.
3. It is not unreasonable for a wife to inherit her husband's estate and I am pretty sure that if Sly had left the IRA to Ted, Ted would not have made his wife only a partial beneficiary and Jack and Primo the other beneficiaries.)
Then Sam advised Primo to resign as trustee on the trust for the grandchildren. The documents state that the money will be held in trust for them until they are 30, with the trustee allowed to disburse funds for education and maintenance expenses.
"Any degree of subjectivity - anything where you have to exercise discretion - and you are going to tick people off. I had to do it for my aunt's trust and it was the biggest hassle ever. You do not want to do this. Turn it over to a lawyer. Plus, you're responsible for making the investment decisions. Do not do this."
"Listen to your friend," I say. "He knows what he is talking about."
Me: Primo found another porn stash.
Sam: Another one?
Primo: This was not the first one.
Me: He found photos.
Primo: Of them.
Primo: I was looking for financial documents and they were stuck in the drawer.
Sam: I hope of them when they were younger.
Primo: Oh yes.
Sam: What did you do with them?
Primo: I put them back.
Julie (Sam's wife): You didn't burn them?
Me: Because doing something about them was out of scope?
Primo: Yes! The mission was to find the financial documents, not to throw stuff away.
Sam: So you just put them back?
Primo: Of course.
Me: Good grief.
Sam: I can't imagine. The worst thing our kids can think of is to think about us having sex.
Me: Were the photos - did they have - did they show - any equipment?
Me: The first thing was when Sly reminisced with Primo about - about certain intimate practices he shared with Doris.
Me: Ummm. Involving equipment.
Me: More than that. Strap ons.
Julie: NONONONONONO! My ears! My ears!
Me: I can't say it again.
Julie [laughing]: How do I unhear that?
Me: I told you. I cannot say it again.
Sam: Oh. OH! Oh man. That - that is an image I wish had never entered my mind.