Sly and Doris' house is not a house full of expensive antiques, valuable art, and expensive electronics.
It is a house full of used furniture, some of it with urine stains. The guest room bed has cigarette burns. The carpets are stained. The dishes and cookware are almost 50 years old. Nothing wrong with it - it works, but it is not new. The linens are old.
It is a house of furniture that has been used for decades. It is not bad furniture, but it is used and was not that high quality to begin with. It was what Sly and Doris could afford and that's fine.
Primo's idea is that on the funeral weekend, everyone will take what they want from the house. The rest will be sold and the money will go to the estate, or so we imagine.
Ted has a different idea. Primo spent Saturday at the hospital collecting his dad's stuff. He has arranged the funeral. He is meeting with the lawyer today and on Wednesday, he is flying home. He has things to do, even if some of those things are to rest.
The emails in question.
Note also that Ted's "wife and brothers" are inventorying a house of someone who is not even dead. That is, Ted'sWife's mother is sick but is not dying at this second, but Ted'sWife is going to be ready.
Subject: S and D stuff
From: Ted
Date: Tuesday
To: Primo, Jack
Why not do a quick inventory of TVs furniture, etc., and make a list, with their approximate value, then see who has interest in what? That's what my wife and her brothers have successfully done already.
Subject: RE: S and D stuff
From: Primo
Date: Tuesday
To: Ted, Jack
The inventory is a good idea, but I hope that you weren't suggesting it as a task for today. I'm fully booked for the day (reviewing bills/statements, meeting with the lawyer, picking out photos for Dad's service) and leaving first thing tomorrow. Whatever we don't distribute during the weekend of the funeral should be inventoried, and I will get to that after the funeral. Regarding approximate values, only professionals (or software such as TurboTax) can assign meaningful values to things like used furniture. I could only guess at values for things like recently-purchased electronics (e.g., the TV in the bedroom).
FYI, picking out photos for Dad's service may not seem more important than the obituary, but it is a higher priority for now because I am here, the photos are here, and the photos need to be chosen before I return on July 31. That leaves only today for me to go through the boxes of photos. (I'll be expecting some digital photos from you as well.)
Primo
Does anyone care that EVERYTHING goes to the grandchildren?
ReplyDeleteTed does! He told Primo it wasn't fair because Primo and I have no children. Primo was touched, but then I pointed out that what Ted was really saying was, "I have only one child and Jack has three so I am getting screwed."
DeleteThat's what I figured but in the end the person who writes the will gets to decide. If there had been no wills and Sly and Doris owned everything equally Primo would have ended up with 1/2 and each brother would have 1/4. Ted's son has 1/4. So the only issue is Ted can't legally use it for his own pursuits. I just hope he was smart enough to put it into trust for his son. There can be legal complications if a disabled person is receiving government benefits.
DeleteHa! Ted is totally trying to use his son's money! You will see! (Man, you guys have Ted pegged.)
DeleteThat man (Ted) has no shame! I know you know that, but he's constantly exceeding my negative expectations of him.
DeleteSon of Sly, indeed.
Regarding household items. Unless there is something of real value like a diamond engagement ring or a car the items are considered worthless for estate purposes. Normally the children should just take turns picking what they want if anything. Though with half siblings I would set aside anything that truly would be Doris's (all goes to Primo) and divvy up the rest.
ReplyDeleteInventorying household items is usually not worth the time and certainly not worth paying someone for. I suspect that Ted wants to make sure he doesn't get "ripped off".
DeleteIf Ted is getting "ripped off", then it's Sly that did the ripping. Good point on pulling out stuff from Doris (like her jewelry? I know, Goldie doesn't want it, but maybe there's something to sell ...). I take it that Doris either did not have a Will or left it all to Sly. If she had no Will, there is a chance that state law gives part of it to Primo anyway, but am guessing that he is a smart boy and already asked the lawyer about that.
DeleteYou know, this is even worse than the mess that Bertha left!
Doris and Sly had a will leaving everything to the other, then to the grandchildren. The jewelry - hoo, boy, is THAT going to be an issue! Just wait.
DeleteBut...but...Ted and Jack aren't Doris's kids! I mean, I know she's been in their lives for a long time (and I am not saying that stepchildren and step-grandchildren can't be just like children to some people), but this leaves out Doris's only living child completely in every way, unless his stepchildren get something!
DeleteNope. Primo got kind of screwed on this.
DeleteThat is so sad. And after all that "You are the light of my life...We NEED you..." stuff. Small consolation, but Primo will be able to be right with his conscience for always doing the right thing.
DeleteI know, emma. All the crap he put up with and they screw him like this. Again - their money - but it is just so mean.
DeleteUsually after the family has their chance to choose what they'd like from "ordinary household furniture and items," it gets parcelled off to Goodwill and/or an auction house. The auction house will tell you you will get pennies on the dollar.
ReplyDeleteThere were only 2 items of any real value when my mother died. Sister #3 got the ring, brother #2 got the car and their value was included in the estate. The rest we selected what we wanted and the leftovers went to the Salvation Army. I was glad mom had already moved into senior housing and we didn't have to deal with selling a house and all the contents.
DeleteYeah, that is how rational people look at it.
DeleteTed is not rational.
This reminds me of when my parents divorced, and my dad wanted the value of my mom's Hummel figurines to be recorded as part of her half of the assets. He wouldn't believe that they were nothing special.
DeleteYou mean the glass, ceramic, and brass frog collection that Sly and Doris left is also probably worth nothing?
DeleteIs there a mark somewhere in your home where bang your head repeatedly and ask yourself, "when will all this end?"
ReplyDeleteLots of comfort eating, Anon!
DeletePoor Primo, he has so much on his shoulders...
ReplyDeleteYeah, Sly was a jerk and I cannot convince Primo that it's OK to walk away.
DeleteDoes Ted not realize the unreasonable-ness of asking Primo to do something BY HIMSELF that he says took three people ("wife and brothers" is at least three)?
ReplyDelete