He also told them that he was the beneficiary on Sly's IRA.
It took Ted not very long to reply
1. Please inform as to the value of the items in the trust and the retirement assets.
2. I’d like to call your attention to the attached letter, dated July 30, 2005, one of which was presumably sent to Jack and possible a copy to you, Primo. [The letter said something about Primo funding the trust from other assets to get each grandkid's piece to a certain amount and also said that Sly would be leaving a small bequest to both Ted and Jack.]
3. I’m disappointed that you failed to follow through on our father’s specific instructions, delivered verbally to you on Monday, June 8, 2015 in front of the lawyer and me, to “modify the trust language,” especially as Dad and Doris' Joint Living Trust, dated June 1, 1005 (of which I have a copy) was drafted prior to your second marriage and Jacks' restaurant business. I look forward to discussing this with the two of you and I shall reserve my right to contest the will in court.
Did you see that?
Ted is already threatening to take Primo to court and he is ticked off that even though Sly mentioned something about the will, PRIMO DID NOT DO ANYTHING.
My response:
1. Screw you, Ted. See you in court.
2. The letter does not matter. It was from ten years ago. If Sly had really wanted to make these changes, he should have put them in the will. Surely the Smartest Man in the World (TM) would know that all that matters is what is written in the will.
3. Again, screw you, Ted. First, Primo was not in the room when that happened. Second, even if he had been, he was busy taking care of his very ill father and planning his mother's funeral. And again, see the part about, "It is not in the will if it is not written in the will."
And then Jack wanted to know what happens to Sly's IRA when Primo dies. As in, does it go to me?
To that, I would say, "Jack. Sly and Doris lost $250,000 in your restaurant and have left $300,000 to your children. So basically, you have gotten over half a million dollars from them because money to your children is sort of money to you. You don't think that is enough?"
This might be a very unpleasant funeral weekend.
Dear Ted,
ReplyDeleteYou Humongous Ass Twit. Primo has been trying to get Sly to do something about the will for YEARS. That is because SLY is the only one who can do something about his will. Nobody else can do anything. SLY could have. He didn't. And even if Primo could make the arrangements to do something when Sly FINALLY made a comment about changing it, like getting The Lawyer in to work with Sly at his hospital bed, there were just these few other priorities at the time. Like trying to keep Sly alive.
Whatever Sly mentioned or intended to do, HE didn't do it. Not even the things he wrote he was going to do a decade ago. He had ample time. He was too busy trying to figure out how much your mother was going to leave you so he could REDUCE whatever he was thinking of by that amount.
Let me wrap that up in a bow for you: Your dad was looking to screw you. Your brother tried to save you from it. That didn't work. And that means you ended up even more screwed than your dad intended.
Go ahead. Challenge the will. But your father wrote it, and he chose not to place any hurry on updating it. Even after he got sick. That's your dad. Now please stop blaming your brother for who he was.
- AC
Let me wrap that up in a bow for you: Your dad was looking to screw you. Your brother tried to save you from it. That didn't work. And that means you ended up even more screwed than your dad intended.
DeleteLove. This.
Goldie, on a separate note, given how many times you've mentioned Primo's conversations with his dad about updating the will on this blog, that might be considered evidentiary. If this isn't all settled already, and you haven't thought of that, it could be worth checking into.
ReplyDelete- AC
Thanks, Cat. Despite Sly, it has turned out OK because of the IRA, which Sly never wanted to go to Primo, but Primo was the secondary beneficiary after Doris and Sly didn't change anything after Doris died.
DeleteThanks be for small favors, huh?
Delete- AC
At this point, Primo's best interest is to say f*ck this, I'm not serving as executor. I mean, he receives basically no benefit for fighting Ted and all the aggravation. Let Ted and Jack find someone else to deal with it so their kids can get the money after they have fought about it.
ReplyDeleteYeah Primo could have declined to be executor and let the lawyer deal with it. As it is suing just means everyone gets even less money because the estate will be paying the bill to defend. And as Jack lives in Florida he would have had an easier time getting the will taken care of than Primo would have.
DeleteI have tried. :(
DeleteJack doth protest too much - his lovely children will have a great start in life and he's already benefitted from the loan for his restaurant. (Will Ted try to make him pay it back to the estate!? I can't wait to find out.)
ReplyDeleteYou and Primo have my sympathy; his brothers are being unreasonable...and Ted is unbearable.
emma, I am surprised Ted has not done that! Maybe he doesn't know how much money Sly and Doris put into the restaurant. And yes, Jack comes out more than OK here.
DeleteIs Ted trying to pick up the mantle of Sly? Time to move on Ted, contesting a will usually ends up in all the assets of the will padding lawyers pockets - anyone with half a brain knows this.
ReplyDeleteI don't envy you or Primo any of this grief.
Yep. He is the New Sly (Son of Sly!). I don't think he has half a brain.
DeleteOne hopes the lawyer who drew it up had a nice long talk with Ted and ended this. Ted finally got what was coming to him. If anyone got screwed, it was Primo ... again.
ReplyDeleteAs you already know, the IRA was protected and not a part of the estate. Am guessing that you and Primo may not see Ted all that often in the future.
webb, we spent a lot of time trying to figure that one out! And no, Primo and I have no interest whatsoever in ever seeing Ted again.
DeleteWow and Sly's not even in the ground yet. *Sigh* Sounds about right for a dysfunctional family. Small comfort that Ted and Jack didn't decide to take a week when my father was distracted by my sister being seriously ill in the hospital and took Sly to the lawyer to get their inheritance (i.e. my grandfather's assets) two years before he died. And the corrupt lawyer says it's all fine because they got what was wrote down in the will for them to get.
ReplyDeleteTed and Jack are being awful (and will probably continue being awful) but they didn't steal all of Sly's furniture while he was still using it.
"Karma will catch up with them" all has become my mantra to keep my blood pressure down. That and I acknowledge the genealogical ties I have to them but they are not family.
What? How do you get an inheritance before someone dies? That is evil.
DeleteMy grandfather's last will (which should have been rewritten after all this crap went down in my humble not-a-lawyer-opinion) divided the land he lived on between my aunt and uncle. He had developed it with three rental trailers plus the one he lived in, but my uncle moved into one and his stepdaughters into the other two when my grandfather's health started declining. My father's share was a rental house in another town. Dad didn't think it was fair and said so when my grandfather announced his intentions.
DeleteWell my grandfather ended up selling the rental house in a lease-to-own deal. My sister was admitted to the hospital, so me and my mother rushed to another state to take care of her. While my grandfather and the buyer were in his lawyer's office finalizing the house sale, my aunt (my father's sister) and my uncle (my father's brother) descended on the office and nobody could leave until they got what my grandfather wanted to leave to them signed over to them right then, because my father would suddenly get his in cash. My father (who remained behind working his job) was not told about this meeting until months after my grandfather died about five months later.
We all think it was elder abuse, but since my grandfather never told us what happened, we couldn't reverse anything. My grandfather did offer the money, which he hadn't collected yet, to my father who wouldn't take it because hello it is yours until you're dead.
And to make matters worse, they along with the lawyer didn't tell my father what had been done after my grandfather died and my father was trying to see that the shitty will was executed. This is the part I can't forgive them for. My grandfather was a horrible person; him and Sly could have traded notes on how to screw their children. My aunt and uncle decided this was the best way to get the S.O.B., fine. But they sat there and lied to my father in hopes that he would sign papers and pay off the estate's debts. And his inheritance, the sold rental-house burnt down before the buyer finished paying for it so they money amount wrote in the will never materialized. All the paperwork concerning the succession has been done illegally, and my father refuses to sign anything. The lawyer said it's fine because my grandfather gifted them what was wrote in the will. My baby sister (not the one who got sick) put in a complaint on the lawyer.
So that estate remain in limbo, and we're looking at a worse fight when my father's mother dies. All my grandparents divorced before I was born and this doesn't even touch on all the step-drama. ;) Sorry for the book in the comment section.
What? What a horrible story. What a mess. Your poor dad. It seems that it always the ethical people who get screwed. What did your dad ever do to his siblings to deserve that? (Nothing! I know! That was a rhetorical question.) Some people are just mean. I hope karma gets them in this lifetime.
DeleteLike everyone says, it makes no sense to hire a lawyer, who will get rich at the expense of the estate.
ReplyDeleteIf Ted's M.O. is to IMMEDIATELY start bullying everyone to try to get his own way, no wonder his career needs life support.
emma, Ted thinks he has a career but I see no evidence of one! But yeah - that is how he rolls - bully and intimidate people to get what you want. No wonder his wife drinks too much. (Although she is no angel herself, as you will see in the next few months.)
DeleteOkay, Ted. If it was so easy to get your dad to change his will, why didn't you do it? You're the oldest (I assume, anyway), so methinks it was on you to do all of this stuff you're putting on Primo.
ReplyDeleteI know it doesn't and shouldn't work that way, but that's the excuse my dad's family gave him: You're the oldest boy, so you do it. Yes, even my dad's sister who was older than my dad bought into this stuff and put a bunch of this type of crap on him, too. Ted just sickens me so much, and if he thinks it's a finger-snap to do something, then he should have been the one snapping his fingers. It's in the will, so emailing nasty notes to Primo does nothing for him.
Regarding the fees (and deliberate refusal of payment per Sly's will)? That would be my exit cue. I have the IRA, so I'm outtie. Have fun dealing with the rest of it, everyone! GRRRRR!
Yes! Ted does pull a lot of the "I am the oldest son hence my words carry weight!" crap. HE could have gotten the lawyer to Sly's room.
DeleteThe thing about the fees would have me out, too. I am hoping Primo will resign. (The trusts have not been set up yet - he is just finishing dealing with the house, which he would have had to do even if he had resigned as executor and trustee. Well - not had to. Wanted to.)
Okay, I have a question. How long until all the grandkids are of age, and Primo can stop being the trustee? Because, you know, I see problems in that future.
ReplyDelete- AC
Youngest grandchild is 17. Oldest 21. Assets in trust until 30. So yeah.
DeleteSpecifying no fees for executorship - is that legal?! Wow. Just wow.
ReplyDeleteNope. :) But it might be for trustee. Primo needs to talk to the lawyer about this. I want him to get every single penny he is due. This has been a nightmare.
DeleteI would say it, that last thing about the restaurant and the kids. But I may be a jerk. I think you have had nearly the patience of a Saint...or you have shown it, even if you didn't always feel it.
ReplyDeleteI would say it, that last thing about the restaurant and the kids. But I may be a jerk. I think you have had nearly the patience of a Saint...or you have shown it, even if you didn't always feel it.
ReplyDeleteI hope the lawyer sees some way for Primo to get paid for navigating this mess. And Happy Thanksgiving. I'll give thanks that the worst (I hope) is over for you and Primo. Also giving thanks for your blog...and forthcoming book!
ReplyDelete