Primo: I am so tired. I did a lot of work today, but there is still so much to be done.
Me: I know, sweetie. It is a huge burden.
Primo: And I'm not like you - I can't just throw things away.
Me: No, that is not your forte.
Primo: I have to throw away boxes of my mom's stuff about Nancy and mental health. She wanted to write a book.
Me: That's a lot.
Primo: I feel guilty about it - all her work - but that's not my work. I am not going to carry on her work.
Me: It's OK. I truly do not think your mom would expect you to do that. I just wish she had lived longer than your dad so she could have had some peace.
Primo: I get so distracted doing this. I start reading the papers and notes and books and looking at the photos. But it's my family and they are all dead. I am the only one now. It makes me sad.
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There are times when my heart breaks for Primo. Despite the disfunction of his family, they were his parents and to have them die within short weeks of each other must have been devastating. And, then to have had to do all the "cleaning up" while battling the out-of-control greed of Ted is really too, too much. Give the guy an extra hug from me.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad. And it's sad that the half brothers aren't great family. I hope Primo can stay close with Stephanie and his nieces and nephews. And I'm glad Primo has Goldie. And vice versa. To be the last person is to have to make all the decisions about everything left when everyone else is gone.
ReplyDeletePrimo, my condolences. It seems with all the drama, we sometimes forget that you've lost your mom and dad. It is clear they had good in them and you are the result of that. You are the last of that family, and grieving that family is good. But you also have a family that consists of Goldie, her family, your stepdaughters, Stephanie and her kids, and, maybe, Jack, who might be a jerk but only like all of us are jerks.
ReplyDeleteI suspect when all is said in done, maybe years from now, we'll know Ted is also an alcoholic, drug addict, or some other addict (maybe gambling or spending the way he seems so desperate for money).
Not a consolation but maybe gives you more resolve to hold firm on boundaries. Because an addict will take miles for every inch you give them. Hold firm.
Losing both parents so close together must be terribly hard. Sorting through and disposing the contents of a home full of STUFF and family memories is exhausting work - there are so many decisions to make. Virtual hug being sent to Primo...
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ReplyDeletePrimo displayed such grace, patience and CLASS during this tragic time. He represented his family so beautifully - they'd be so proud. I'm proud! He didn't give up or lash out! He powered thru. What an example.
ReplyDeletePrimo displayed such grace, patience and CLASS during this tragic time. He represented his family so beautifully - they'd be so proud. I'm proud! He didn't give up or lash out! He powered thru. What an example.
That sounds like a really hard place to be in. I'm sorry, Primo. [hugs]
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You guys are so nice. Thank you so much for your kind words. xoxoox, GD
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