Primo got home - when? recently. I am writing this about a week after it happened.
And we returned to the ritual of fighting, only this time, we waited until I had been at work all day.
I got home from work, wanting to do nothing more than eat something, change my clothes, and watch TV, but Primo wanted to talk about The Future, which would have been fine with me, but he wanted to talk about The Future with No Plan.
He maintained that he should get another year off without working because he has spent most of the past year dealing with Sly and Doris. (Taking the year off is The Plan. Not in The Plan is 1. When he would start to look for a job or 2. What that job might be.)
I think that is BS. Sure, an extra few months, but an entire year?
He argues that he inherited some money.
I argue that he has no idea what it's like to look for a job these days. The last time he got a new job was more than 16 years ago.
Oh, he said confidently, I will just tell them that I quit to run for Congress.
Which was when I did not scream but wanted to scream, "ARE YOU NUTS? You cannot tell recruiters you quit your job to run for public office! You tell them you quit because your parents were both seriously ill and you knew it was going to take more time than FLMA would allow. That is the only acceptable answer!"
"Not for a political job," he said.
Which left me speechless because you know what? I liked being married to an engineer who made engineer money.
I have no respect for and have no wish to be married to a community organizer.
That is the job for a 20something with a trust fund, not for a middle-aged man with an expensive education and a highly-specialized background for which employers are willing to pay.
Community organizing is for people who did not have the sense to major in something that would lead to dental and a 401k.
I do not care about saving the world. I care about being able to retire some day.
Primo wants to leave a legacy. Is that normal? Does everyone care about that? I care a little bit, but on a more personal level. I want my legacy to show now. As in, Primo and I are going to our college reunion soon. I am a little stressed about it because
1. I have no children
2. I am pretty much a failure at my career, despite my educational pedigree, which makes me wonder if I have not met my potential - depressing - if I have - even more depressing.
Given that I have nothing to brag about - my classmates have written NY Times bestsellers, are tenured profs at Princeton, are CFOs of major organizations, are healing the sick and defending the poor, my current concern is losing ten pounds. If I cannot be accomplished, at least maybe I can be thin.
(Which is not working, BTW. I like eating more than I like not eating.)
Where was I?
So we were arguing and I was getting ticked off because I am the person who is really not gaining anything here. Primo wants another year off. This year has been not very nice because even though Primo has not been making any money, he has not been home to do any of the chores he said he would do instead of making money. I have had to be the person making money AND the person cleaning the bathroom and scooping the cat box and washing the clothes and changing the sheets. I have had to do all the housework, which he was supposed to take over.
And now he wants to take another year off.
He has a valid point about the money he inherited. It's more than two years' salary, but my main concern is that a middle-aged man who has been out of work for two years is not going to be appealing to anyone.
We are at a stalemate.