Wednesday, January 27, 2016

In which Ted continues his assault against his son's trust

You guys knew this was coming, right?

  • 9/24, 3:07pm

    I got an email from Ted and Ted'sWife listing all of Ted'sSon's school expenses since 2007 (with amounts paid by my parents and Ted'sMother subtracted, but I think they understated those amounts). They want to drain his trust right away.
  • 9/24, 5:42pm
    - do you really care? I mean, either he gets all the money now or it comes out in dribs and drabs. If you give it to him now, he might shut up
  • 9/24, 5:55pm
    Ted is a jerk
  • 9/24, 6:04pm
    the only reason not to let them drain the trust is the risk that they blow all the money on themselves and you get sued for not acting properly as trustee
    which is why I think you should turn it all over to the lawyer
  • 9/24, 7:19pm


  1. I am not an attorney but I suspect this is illegal. Primo needs to get an attorney and I think he should let the attorney handle all dealings with Ted. As a cost to the trust. And he should explain exactly why there will be less money available for the children to both Ted and Jack.

    I'm in my 60s now and I know several people who have worked hard for the money they now have and are well off and often generous to their families. But I am amazed that their children or in-law children feel entitled to that money here and now for their children and instead of being grateful what help they get, they resent they don't get more.

    Ted is responsible to educate his own son. No one else.

    1. I agree! I posted a link to an article about professional trustees a couple of posts ago, they charge about 0.2-0.3%, which sounds pretty reasonable to me. Ted would throw a fit at that, of course, but he'll throw a fit no matter what, right? And I think you're so right about the legal issues; if someone sees Ted's Son with bruises and wins guardianship, they might investigate the trust and how it was spent. And I'm 99% sure the trust was set up for FUTURE expenses to be paid as they're incurred, because if someone wanted to reimburse for past expenses why would they bother with a trust? Just give the cash to Ted!

  2. Catherine from CanadaWednesday, January 27, 2016

    You know, just because Ted sends Primo information, doesn't mean that Primo has to _do_ anything with it.

    The _implication_ is there that Ted wants to be paid but he hasn't made an actual direct request yet.
    Until he does, I think Primo should just say, "Yes, I received the information, it gives me some predictive information as to future expenses, thank you."
    And, then, of course, when Ted actually does state that he expects payment for these prior expenses, then Primo can say, "No, that's not what a trust is for."
    Until then, I think he should just play "stupid" (ie: not play Ted's game, play a different, more fun, game called "how crazy can I make Ted?")

  3. Primo needs to hire an attorney to deal with Ted. ASAP.


  4. Ditto the 'Primo, get a freaking attorney ASAP' comment. This is only going to get worse.

  5. Have to agree with those above. I'm sure this has been resolved one way or another by now. This is why you use a lawyer throughout the process. While the trustee makes the final decisions the lawyer advises with the law behind him. Unfortunately in the state Ted lives in his son may be considered a minor till 21 regarding the trust. But after that Ted should have no say. The son would have to ask for disbursements.
    While death is an emotional event you can not let emotion become part of the estate. You can not make everyone happy and that is no the job of the executor.

  6. Google "trustee fiduciary duty to beneficiary." Primo needs a really good lawyer to advise him.

  7. In the event that Ted IS trying to claim this as “cover these past expenses now”, vs “here’s what he usually gets”:

    “As dad gave money at the time, I have to assume that is the amount that he intended to be paid for expenses that have already been incurred, and the intent of the trust is to cover new expenses only.” (but yeah – consult a lawyer or 3…)

    And yes, it does matter if you give all the money to Ted now. It’s supposed to be there for TS for future. It’s supposed to be protected to be there. It’s not about Ted at all, it is entirely about TS and that is the responsibility Primo was entrusted with. Dealing with Ted is an annoying byproduct of that responsibility. Teeth-grinding, frustrating, hitman-fantasizing byproduct. But giving in to him would be falling down on the responsibility that Primo was entrusted with. I suspect that you would not actually respect him if he took responsibility that lightly.

    However, I would be most willing to help you create a number of killing/injuring-Ted/TW-in-fantasy games as a coping strategy…

    - AC


Sorry about the new commenting requirements - I have been getting spammed like crazy.