Of course he has mentioned his brothers before, but it’s not something we talk about a lot. What? Did you think that they might be important to this story? Would you like to know more?
OK! Here is the dirty truth about Primo’s half-brothers, who, in a normal world would be referred to as simply “brothers” but apparently that is not how Sly and Doris roll.
Primo: My dad was married to another woman when he met my mom. He left his first wife for her.
Me: How old were your brothers?
Primo: They were little. Not even in kindergarten yet.
Me: And he left them?
Primo: He and his first wife had married too young. They’d had problems. She was an alcoholic.
Me: Wait! Your dad abandoned his little boys to an alcoholic mother?
Primo: He thought he was going to get custody. He and my mom tried for years to get them. He said he couldn’t live with his ex anymore because of her drinking. He had to leave. And he really did think he was going to get custody.
Fathers didn’t get custody in the early 60s. They didn’t even get it in the late 70s. Didn’t he see Kramer vs. Kramer?
Me: How did it happen? With your mom, I mean? How do you abandon your little boys and your wife for another woman?
Primo: He met my mom at church, where they were both singing in the choir.
Me: They met at church? Your dad abandoned his wife and children for a woman he met at church? Are you seeing some inappropriateness here? Not that this sort of thing doesn’t happen, but I don’t know how you maintain the high moral ground after something like that.
Primo: No! I mean, yes. They didn’t belong to the church – they just sang there. They’re atheists.
Me: Why were atheists even in a church?
Primo: They sang there. In the choir.
Me: They are atheists but they still supported religion by singing in a place that they totally disagreed with?
Primo: They like to sing. And they were paid.
Me: Not that principled about their atheism, then.
Primo: Whatever. My dad asked my mom out and she told him she wouldn’t date a married man.
Me: Good for her.
Primo: He moved out from his first wife and started seeing my mom. As soon as he was divorced, he and my mom got married. Then I was born.
Me: Your mom knew he was married. She knew he had little kids. And she was cool with your dad abandoning them for her?
Primo: My dad’s ex-wife was an alcoholic and not a good person.
Me: Uh huh. I’m sure that’s the story that helps your parents sleep at night. If the first wife was so bad, though, why did your dad marry her in the first place?
Primo: I don’t know! This is what they’ve told me!
Me: And your dad was the good guy in all of this? Leaving his little boys to someone so alcoholic that he couldn’t live with her?
Primo: That’s what he thinks.
 I am realizing that I get a lot of my understanding of the world from movies. Is that wrong?