Ch 1 Monday Sly complains about Stephanie's weight again and I wonder what he will be saying about me when I am not around to hear, as I am not the thinnest person in the world

We just had breakfast. No meal – no gathering of two or more – is complete without some complaint about Stephanie, who is, you will remember, The Worst Person in the World.

Sly complains about Stephanie's weight. Resisting the temptation to make a glass houses remark and clearly having forgotten my resolution Not to Argue with Sly, I ask, “Why does Stephanie's weight matter to you?”

He sighs. Isn’t it obvious? Why must he explain everything? Who is this dullard of a girlfriend their Only Joy has brought home? How will they save Primo from making yet another marriage mistake? They couldn’t stop his first disastrous marriage, but maybe they can stop this one. Oh the burdens a father must bear.

"Because,” Sly explains, “her mother died young from heart problems. She was only her in late 40s when she died. Stephanie has heart problems. If Stephanie dies, then we will be raising those children."

I bite my tongue rather than ask the obvious follow up questions, which are, "Don't they have a father?" (they do – Jack, Stephanie's ex-husband) and "Why are you so sure that you would be their guardians?" Instead, I just nod my head and say, “I see.”