Saturday, March 30, 2013

Sunday Oct 21 Notes from the party


1. We are not very good at this. We raised $275. Primo opened at least that much wine. The good wine.

2. Everyone told me the food was the best fundraiser food they've ever had. I do believe they are correct, based on my limited fundraiser experience.

3. Our friends drove at least an hour to our house to help get ready for the party. Bonnie and Gary also brought a bunch of cheese and crackers and other little appetizers. Lenore drove 90 miles, brought madeleines (of the type we learned to make at a French cooking we attended over ten years ago), helped set  up, bused during the party, washed dishes during the party, and helped clean up after. Bonnie and Gary also stayed late to help clean up. We have very nice friends.

4. Lenore's help meant that I could pretend to be interested when one of the more intense guests wanted to corner me. Blesshisheart, Jason is the nicest, most sincere guy in the world. He really, really wants to help. But he is not interested in working at the call center (can't say I blame him) or delivering yard signs. 

He wants to be planning campaign strategy and talking tactics. Again, I can't blame him, but with the election only two and a half weeks away, we really don't have time to do an SWOT analysis and come up with new marketing material. Not to mention we do not have the money to re-do the material. Graphic artists do not work for free. Neither do printers.

I was cornered by this really weird woman who I wish had not come. I didn't know she was coming. She is a wacky, loose cannon Polka Dot who has wreaked havoc on facebook with those who dare cross her. She accused Primo via email and voicemail of conspiring against her with another Polka Dot. The only good thing about her is that almost everyone knows she's wackadoodle, so her rantings carry little weight. She showed up with her - I am not making this up - I don't believe in making the villain look bad so you'll know she's bad - but she really does have super-bleached hair that looks like straw because it's so damaged. Roots. Cakey makeup. Long black cape. She carried a backpack and a purse and whipped out her camera.

The last thing I want is to be in a photo on her FB page. Jason tried to insist that I participate in the photo op and would not take no for an answer.

WHAT THE HECK, PEOPLE? IF I SAY I DON'T WANT MY PHOTO TAKEN, THEN GET OFF MY BACK!!!

I had to politely tell him THREE TIMES that no, I was not going to participate.

Then she ate our food, drank our expensive wine, and didn't contribute a single dollar.

That would have been OK if she had volunteered to help, but she did not. Not that I want her knocking on doors representing Primo.

She is active in the political world, so she knows how these things go. It's a FUNDRAISER. You're supposed to contribute money. If you don't want to contribute, don't go. She didn't even bring a dessert! 

She is NOT WELCOME here.

AND THEN SHE STARTED SELLING HER BOOK!

Honestly.

5. This guy Bart, who's been active in PD politics here for years, coached me and the woman who's hosting a fundraiser for Primo on Tuesday on how to ask for the money and how to set up the house. I wish I had known these things before we had the party, although to be honest, we knew we wouldn't get many donations. We were asking our volunteers as a thank you for the work they've done and we asked people who've already donated as a thank you as well. We tried to invite prospective donors, but we didn't do a good job. Note to self: If Primo ever runs for office again, get the fundraisers on the calendar months in advance. 

So Bart said this is what you have to have:

  • Thick-tip pen for name tag. "You don't want people squinting to read names," he said.
  • Lots of yard signs in the front yard so people know it's the right place
  • Good lighting in the front yard, which we do not have because Primo insists on using those darn swirly lightbulbs, which I think we all know are inadequate and do not  illuminate.
  • Bunting in the yard
  • A table at the door with registration sheet, name tags, envelope for contribution ("I'm sure you'll want one of these.")
  • Invite people who already know the candidate so they can work the crowd.

6. We are exhausted. But we have to go do more doors. We have to address (or the volunteers do) more postcards). I need to find volunteers for the phone bank. Primo has more surveys to complete. We have to do the campaign finance report because the woman who is the treasurer has not been doing treasurer stuff. In her defense, Primo the micromanager, who did not like how I was tearing apart the stamped postcards this morning (you print them four to a page), has not asked her to do anything. "She lives ten miles away," he says. I note that if she agreed to take the job, then she agreed to the conditions that come with.

7. Primo's half brother Jack will be in town next weekend for a conference. He emailed Primo to tell him he could get together with him after 9 p.m. on Saturday or 9 p.m. on Sunday. He must really want to see Primo.

8. Does anyone know what "RSVP" means? It means "Tell me if you're coming so I'll know how much food to prepare." Honestly. No manners.

6 comments:

  1. What an ordeal, there's definitely no fun in fundraiser. I hope Primo never runs for President. If Primo doesn't win the seat do you really think your (our!) nerves could stand a "next time"?

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    1. SK, it is really, really hard on a candidate and on the spouse. I watched season one of "Homeland" this week. In one episode, they ask Brody to run for office. He tells his wife and she says, "No! We just got you back! We don't want to lose you again!"

      That's really what happens. It's all consuming. The candidate spends from dawn to dusk - and later - campaigning and doing all the crap required. It's so hard. And the spouse - me - is left to take care of everything at home. I don't know how people with children do it. After this, I feel even sorrier for the children of politicians. They must never see that parent.

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  2. This has been so interest ing that i really dont want it to end, but think it is funny that i am living it as if "live" rather than five months ago! I think that says something about the immediacy of your style. Great fun!

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  3. And I don't even really fully understand US politics, but I love reading about Primo and you. You know I'd be round helping you make those bloody signs,while bitching cheerfully about Primo's paralysing perfectionism and doing doors! (I'd also be checking out your wine cellar of course, because there's a price to be paid for everything. Ha!)

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    Replies
    1. SK, I would so have loved to have someone assemble signs with me who would understand my bitching and would have bitched with me! I didn't talk about it at work at all because nobody there knew Primo was running. I didn't dare mention it because politics here lately have been soooooo nasty. And I would have given you as much wine as you wanted.

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