So we were all having fun and Primo sang and after he sang, these two guys at the bar - who had been at the bar for a while - called him over to tell him he was in the wrong profession and that he needed to sing professionally.
Then I sang and I was finally warmed up, so I didn't sound too awful on "You're No Good" and "Wedding Bell Blues." The same two guys called me over and told me I sang really well, which I took as evidence that they were pretty drunk, because I am not good.
Then I took some of Primo's campaign literature over to them. Primo had been talking to them and they had heard his little political speech, so they knew what was going on.
I handed the piece to Guy #1. He asked what party Primo is. As I handed the literature to Guy #2, I answered. "He's running as a Polka Dot."
Guy #2 lifted his hand and let the literature drop from his fingers to the floor.
"I hate Polka Dots," he said.
"He's married to a Stripe," I told him. "I'm his wife."
Guy #1 looked at me. "Shame on you!" he said. "Shame on you!"
I was confused. "He's a Polka Dot, I'm a Stripe."
His face got red. "I heard what you said! Shame on you!"
I was really confused. "Why?"
You can tell I am not used to being around drunks. I was actually trying to reason with them.
Shame on me.
"You're a Stripe? Shame on you!"
Guy #2 was shaking his head. "I hate Polka Dots. I wouldn't vote for a Polka Dot if my life depended on it."
Guy #1 continued to glare at me. I finally figured out that he didn't like me because I was a Stripe and Guy #2 didn't like Primo because he was a Polka Dot.
Yet they were drinking together.
I continued to blunder along. "But aren't you two friends?" I asked. "You're a Polka Dot and you're a Stripe but you're friends."
"Don't try to get between us!" Guy #1 bellowed.
I finally realized I was 1. being an idiot and 2. wasting my time.
I bent over, picked up the dropped lit piece, and said, "You guys have a nice evening."
Guy #2 muttered into his beer as I walked away. "I hate Polka Dots!" Guy #1 glared at me and yelled something that I couldn't hear and decided to ignore.''