To which I say, "Bullshit - your brother has not changed stripes and that was not an apology and he deserves nothing from you."
Primo: You have no idea what a relief it is when Ted is not a jerk.
Me: I understand that, sweetie, but do you realize how abusive that sounds? That you are relieved that he is acting with just minimal decency? Not even courtesy? Just less jerkish than usual?
Primo: I dread any interaction with him.
Me: So why don't you just turn it all over to the lawyer? Have the lawyer deal with Ted?
And then there was this:
And I said
Me: How come you can push back so easily on me but not on Ted?
Primo: I'm not pushing back on you!
Me: You are too! You are arguing with me about why you should continue to deal with Ted!
Me: I'm not telling you what to do. You get to decide. But Ted is sucking up all of your emotional energy. You have been nothing but decent to him. You have been polite and have treated him better than he deserves. You do not need to be nice to him any more.
Primo: But I don't want to be a jerk. I don't want to be like Ted.
Me: You don't have to. Just tell him that you will be dealing with Ted'sSon's trust later and that there is no reason to talk now.
Primo: It seems mean.
Me: He has been mean to you. It's time to draw the line.