Saturday, February 6, 2016

In which we roll our eyes and say "Ceci n'est pas une pipe" except it really is a pipe, isn't it? Ceci n'est pas une apology

Subject: Re: trust and education expenses
From: ted@icloud.com
CC: ted'swife@verizon.net
To: primo@hotmail.com

I’ve done a terrible job of being a big brother to you—and for that I apologize.

Let’s talk on the phone after setting up a proper time.

I have zero antipathy towards you but couldn’t have more related to your communications skills.

cheers



Let's deconstruct.

1. "I've done a terrible job for being a big brother to you - and for that I apologize."

  • Ted did not apologize for being a jerk
  • He did not apologize for screaming at Primo
  • He did not apologize for saying, "these emails are offensive and bordering on ridiculous. You communicate like a code jockey and not a human being."
2. "Let's talk on the phone."
  • Primo has told Ted repeatedly that he does not intend to talk on the phone
3. "Your communication skills"
  • Primo has never screamed at Ted. He has never sent him an insulting email. There is nothing wrong with Primo's communications skills except sometimes he will not shut up but there is never any doubt about what he wants. Primo is nice to people. He is not a jerk.
4. "Couldn't have more related?" Doesn't that mean he related very well and could not have done it any more?

12 comments:

  1. have zero antipathy towards you but couldn’t have more related to your communications skills.

    WTF is this suppose to mean? I could not have more antipathy towards your communication skills? WTH! Do you understand what is being said? Are words spelled correctly, grammar OK? From what I have seen, the answer is 'yes'. Then what is the problem? Of yeah it's "Wah! I am not getting exactly what I want when I want it!"

    Primo's emails are long for my taste, but he is polite and sentient - the problem is Ted's.

    ReplyDelete
  2. And, stay strong on the 'no phone calls' rule. Unless Ted wants to talk to the attorney acting as trustee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really hope Primo did hold firm on this, because I do not trust Ted at all.

      I also don't understand that last sentence at all. I read it to my husband, and he doesn't get it either. Does it mean that he relates to Primo's last message that called him a child? For someone who has zero antipathy for someone, he sure acts like he hates Primo and his "pedestrian" tastes and "code jockey" conversations.

      Delete
    2. He means he has antipathy toward Primo's communication skills but "zero antipathy" toward Primo himself. It could have been written better.

      Delete
    3. He means he has antipathy toward Primo's communication skills but "zero antipathy" toward Primo himself. It could have been written better.

      Delete
    4. Aha! Reading it with this in mind, I see it now: "...but couldn't have more [antipathy" related to...". I was reading it as he couldn't have "MORE RELATED to" the communication style, i.e., related more to it--but I see the real intent now. Holy poor sentence structure, Batman!

      Delete
  3. This is not an apology. This is a "I'm sorry you are upset" apology, not an I'm sorry because I recognize that I have behaved badly. It sounds like he's saying, if only I'd been a better big brother then you wouldn't get upset about me being an ass and I would get what I want.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! I had not thought of this - but he really is saying that if he had been a better big brother, he would be able to bend Primo to his will.

      Delete
  4. Oh, and he's saying, "I don't hate you, but I hate your communication skills," with the most convoluted grammar possible.

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  5. Sorry, but I hear "If I'd been a better big brother to you" as "If I'd been more involved I'd have taught you better than this." and that's the ONLY way I hear that sentence coming from Ted.

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  6. Boo fauxpology. Boo crappy syntax. Boo Ted.

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  7. I'm responding SO late to all of this, but UGH Primo's interactions with Ted are SO like mine with my narcissistic brother, down to the superior writing style and INSISTENCE on phone conversation so that he can be abusive and then deny it later.

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Primo reads this blog, so please keep that in mind in your comments.