Monday, February 1, 2016

In which I get cranky at Primo and I really need to stop doing that

Primo finally asked the lawyer about Ted's request to be reimbursed $875 a ticket for the three tickets Ted got using frequent flyer miles to attend his own father's funeral, to attend his stepmother's funeral, and to visit his sick, bereaved father.

The lawyer told Primo -

Wait! That's not what Primo asked about. I took notes about this when it happened and am just now (January) finishing writing.

Primo asked the lawyer about Ted's request for $156K (which is more than is in the trust) for Ted'sSon's educational expenses incurred in the past ten years.

The lawyer said Ted's request was ridiculous.

Which it was. And anyone reading this who thinks I am a bitch for not wanting to give Ted his son's money and not wanting to reimburse Ted for attending his own father's funeral - well, there is not much I can say to change your mind, is there? Except if you live in a world where parents can drain the trusts of their disabled children and that's considered OK and if you live in a world where people are not only reimbursed but PROFIT by attending their own fathers' funerals, then please invite me over because I have been doing it all wrong.

I picked Primo up at the airport. I was cranky because his plane was 20 minutes late and I had to pee. I was holding it until we got home - another 25 minutes - but then Primo detoured downtown.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I have to drop off these bills," he said.

I looked. It was bills being paid from the estate on Sly's behalf.

"Your father is dead," I said. "His credit rating does not matter."

Primo disagreed and we had a big fight but then he told me that Sly had told Maria, when she was ten years old, that she was getting fat, and he said that to her again this year.

First, Pot, meet Kettle.

Second, what kind of jerk grandfather tells his granddaughter she is getting fat? Even if she is, so what? Fat is not a character flaw.

Primo and I united over Sly's jerkiness.


  1. Not that it's any of my business, but ... if Sly left it for his THREE grandchildren, it seems to me that one way to relieve some of the stress would be for Primo to set up some rules and to inform both his brothers. Things like: 1) each kid gets 1/3 - provide approximate dollar amount. 2) it may be used for education costs incurred AFTER whatever date Sly died, or 3) to pay currently held education loans. Then he could have the older two provide copies of their loan payments (beginning at the stated beginning date) and reimburse them (or make the payments until their thirds are gone) and he would be putting both brothers on notice that it's not a deep well and Ted can't have it all - even if he does have a child with extra needs. Primo will go crazy if he has to fight this battle over and over again. He's an Engineer. He should understand rules and standards!

  2. I think the lawyers advise was about the plane ticket:

  3. Re being fat is/is not a character flaw.

    Way I was raised, it sometimes is. If your kid spends his entire day watching tv, texting and eating gallons of ice cream out of the carton and refuses to do ANY work or get ANY exercise, it is not the same as an overactive (or under, can never remember) thyroid. JMO f

    1. Nope. Being lazy is a character flaw. Being mean is a character flaw. Being vindictive is a character flaw. Being fat is not.


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