Primo: In January...I agreed to provide reimbursement from the trust...as a favor to you and... I explained at the time that I will need to liquidate some trust assets in order to disburse such a large amount of cash and that I'd be working on dividing the trust into four separate accounts for the grandchildren.
Ted: Actually, Primo, “no” on favor and “no" on spreadsheet. Above is the data you provided several months ago, with the outstanding balance of [more than Primo said].
Primo: I wrote optimistically in an email during our January conversations that "I should be able to do that within the next couple of months," but at this point I have not yet divided the trust. I've been winding down some of the other estate matters ... and have begun the process of closing the estate administration. I've also been spending some time on politics... and trying to enjoy life a bit after the debacle that was 2015 (with the trips to Hawaii and California, for example).
Ted: Great that you have wound down estate matters, volunteered, and traveled to Hawaii and California. Way to go!*
Primo: It is not my goal to postpone further work on trust-related matters for very long, but the timetable is running behind my carelessly optimistic estimate of a "couple of months."
Ted: Your fiduciary duty,** like that of any trustee, is to dispatch with matters of the estate in a timely manner. Stop diddling! (A great Doris word!) I’m only “expecting or hoping” that you exercise your fiduciary duty. TedsWife's mother’s estate has been fully allocated. Larger balance, shorter time.
Primo: For the next eight days, I will be focused primarily on finishing our taxes and on volunteering for the ... campaigns. After April 5, I will have more time to work on the trust-related issues.
Primo: Regarding your request that I replace X as TedsSon's second trustee, I'm not in a good position to think about that now. ....Perhaps we can revisit this issue in the future, but at this point I can't agree to take on any additional responsibility that might last beyond the lifetime of the existing trust and its successor trusts.
Ted: We hereby rescind the offer. No worries.
* I read this as completely sarcastic. Do you?
** Screw. Him. Primo's fiduciary responsibility is to TedsSon, not to Ted, and TedsSon is not in immediate need of funds.
*** Taxes get a lot more complicated when there is actual income involved. As Ted has not worked for a paycheck for Lord knows how many years, I don't think his taxes can be that complicated.
I'm so glad that Ted's MIL's estate has been taken care of. But I suspect that there were professional involved and more importantly Ted was not. And it's not the balance that determines the time it takes.
ReplyDeleteBut it's the tax thing I find so funny. With a CPA I would hope that Ted wouldn't need to spend that much time on his taxes. Otherwise maybe he needs a new guy. Of course you notice there is no mention of his personal taxes. I bet his wife does those.
Plus - and maybe I'm missing something here, but - isn't Ted's MIL still alive?
DeleteHe's been referring all along to her "estate" and I remember that that was a thing when he first started in on it, that it's not an "estate" because she's not, you know... Dead. So... If that hasn't changed, he can't really say how much better her affairs were handled (and if it has and they were, it's a cinch they weren't handled by him!)
No - she actually died last summer.
DeleteExactly. It is very easy to do taxes if you pay someone else to do them. Primo is overburdened with a sense of responsibility and does not want to increase the administrative costs for the estate. I say pay someone else - your time is worth something.
DeleteHe did have a valid point that all the work was really in sorting through the eight years of financial documents to find out how to do the taxes.
actualconversations, I am pretty sure Ted was not involved in the hands-on work of cleaning up his MIL's estate, which it did become ONCE SHE ACTUALLY DIED, although that distinction seemed to escape him last summer when she was still alive. You guys have good memories.
DeletePrimo is being way too nice to Ted and owes Ted no apologies or explanations. My experience is that, other than sex, everything takes longer than we expect.
ReplyDeleteIt took me nearly a year to close my Mother's estate and it was not nearly as complex as Primo is dealing with (altho I did have to sell an apartment in 2008 - remember what the RE market was that year!). It is not at all unusual for closing even a simple estate to that long.
ReplyDeletePerhaps Primo needs to tell Ted that he is sure he can disburse money by "the end of the year". No point raising false hopes time-wise!
I love that idea. I would even say, "In a year or two - these things take time to do properly, you know."
DeleteEx. Plode. He. Would.
Oh, *hell no. I'm with Webb, Primo needs to say "end of the year, likely." Just to watch Ted's head explode.
ReplyDeleteWe could televise it. Charge non-readers to watch, but the rest of you would get it for free.
DeleteI have no skin in this game and I felt myself snarling as I read what Ted wrote to his own brother.
ReplyDeletePlease introduce Primo to the concept of the Mean Tax. It's my thing, but he's absolutely welcome to it. Put very simply, the nastier someone gets in their communication, the longer that communication will sit, marked "unread" or "unopened." This goes for texts, Facebook, and voicemail, too. Make a game of it! Just count off or make a mark for each time there was some sort of facial contortion in response to what was written/said, and each incident equals one full day of that message going totally ignored.
It's not rudeness - though it might feel like it to poor Primo - it's TRAINING. You're teaching Ted (or whomever) that nothing is so important or urgent that it can't be said politely.
I love the idea of a Mean Tax. It fits so well and would make Ted nuts. It would be easy for me to do this - actually, I already do. I have Ted blocked on facebook and I barely talked to him when we were together. All I have to do is convince Primo that it is not wrong to ignore people who are mean to you.
DeleteDear Primo,
DeleteInternet Stranger who has a whole family full of mean people says it's NECESSARY to ignore people who are mean to you. Toddlers go through a bitey phase, but if you give them a hug and a cupcake every time they bite, they never learn that you don't like it, right?
DeleteAgreed.
Behaviour that is supported is repeated.
I am going to be reading these comments over and over to Primo during our eight hours in a car tomorrow. (Again, don't rob us. There is NOTHING unless you want an 8 year old TV or two cats. And you can't have the cats.)
Delete