Thursday, October 22, 2015

In which I try to understand why Sly would want me to go along on a long trip in a motor home (which is something I did not want to do when my own father was alive, although of course I would jump at the chance today)

Me: Why on earth does your dad want me to come along on this made-for-TV movie adventure?

Primo: I think he wants a better relationship with you.

Me: Ha. Why?

Primo: Because he realizes he is alone.

Me: Yeah, but he does not like me.

Primo: He realizes that the way to get more time with me is to have a better relationship with you.

Me: He is just now doing that math?

Primo: I guess so.

26 comments:

  1. It is amazing to me that Sly, the Smartest Man In The Room, could not figure out earlier that being nice to you would increase the odds his son would want to spend time with him.

    What I think really happened is it didn't occur to him he'd need help, and so now he's trying to suck up to you so that he'll get the help he needs.

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    1. Yeah, Lauren. You would think that someone would have thought nine years ago, "Hmmm. If we are mean to our son's girlfriend/future wife, she might not want to spend time with us and if she does not spend time with us, neither will he."

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  2. It sounds like he's scrambling to make sure he still has an audience- you can't be The Smartest Man In The Room if no one else is there.

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    1. If a Smart Man pontificates in the forest, does anyone hear him?

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  3. (Pictures the Golddigger driving a motor home, while also stuffing bacon into her mouth with both hands and cackling madly. The motor home is careening across lanes...)

    Yeah, maybe better not to take that trip.
    -Sparky

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    1. I LOVE this image and will hold it in my mind until I can no longer remember my name. Thank you, Sparky.

      --Tammy

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    2. Sparky, I am laughing and laughing. Who would play me in the movie? Who would play Sly?

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    3. Goldie, I picture Tea Leoni and Anthony Hopkins. After all, he's already done Hannibal Lecter, this won't be much of a stretch. :D

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    4. Oooh! Tea Leoni! I told Primo and he said, "She's hot." But Anthony Hopkins - he was so wonderful in The Remains of the Day - I don't know if I want to spoil that! (I never saw Silence of the Lambs - the book was enough for me.)

      Delete
  4. Anonymous, especially if Goldie had to take a Xanax to keep from shrieking at Sly....

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    1. I don't think xanax does anything for me, but I would make sure to be taking notes.

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  5. You are the most self-centered person ever. This blog used to be funny but it isn't anymore.

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    1. I KNOW! You can hardly stand it, can you?

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    2. Doris? Is that you again? Or maybe Sly has finally found this and seen his evil ways?

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    3. GrittyKitty, :)!

      Anon, I truly hope that you have no idea what it is like to be around someone like Sly. I hope that in your life, everyone is nice and that to you, it is inconceivable that someone could be mean and nasty. I was not exposed to toxic people until I met Sly and Doris and I was shocked. I had no idea I had been so lucky with my family.

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    4. It is not inconceivable that someone could be mean and nasty. You're as mean and nasty as you say Sly and Doris are. You can't even let up on Doris now that she is dead. And you sound positively gleeful that Sly has cancer. You and Primo sound like a match made in misery. May you get exactly what you deserve.

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  6. Doris? Is that you again?

    ---Tammy

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    1. OOPS - meant as a reply to cranky pants.

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  7. I'm imagining a brunette Rene Zellweger, (as she looked in Bridget Jones Diary), driving that motor home. Sly could be played by Ed Asner - except I like that actor!

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    1. I love Renee Zellwegger! I would be so flattered.

      I would put (an aged) Johnny Depp as Sly because Depp gives me the creeps and I have never liked him. Whoever would play Sly would be ruined for me forever, so might as well start with someone I don't like.

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  8. Hmmm, how to cast the movie? I picture abundant red-gold hair, due to the gold part of Golddigger, but we can put a wig on anyone. Kristin Ritter? Kristin Wiig? Casey Wilson? Jenny Slate? Missi Pyle? I'm thinking we need a strong female who is also a comedian.

    I love Bollywood, and I think Priety Zinta or Rani Mukerjee. Unless we want to make a serious movie, with a social message (but also 5-6 dance numbers!). Then we need Konkona Sen Sharma. And Rahul Bose as Primo. Amitahb Backchan will play Sly because he plays just about every role for older men. Unless Sanjay Dutt is out of jail, then he can play Sly. He's proven he can play creeps in a humorous way.

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    1. I am assuming Bollywood will remake the American version of our movie.

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    2. Clearly, I need a Bollywood education. Recommended titles, please? And I LOVE the idea of several dance numbers.

      (Wait - searching by actor name in the library catalog and now have "Om shanti om" coming.

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  9. Om Shanti Om is a great movie to start with! SKR (Shah Rukh Khan, Farah Khan, some non-Khans, too.) Omkara is a version of Othello, and really well done. Kabul Express is serious but also good. Lage Raho Munna Bhai is funny and sweet. Rahul Bose and Konkona Sen Sharma have made a few serious films about social issues together. I hope you like them! Usually, the acting is more over the top than in the U.S., more like what I've seen in Latin t.v. There are many remakes, I happened to get something that was a remake of Charade, but with a dance number in a Thai sex club, which is missing from the Cary Grant Audrey Hepburn original. One of the worst movies I've ever seen was a remake of Waking Ned Divine. I hope you like Om Shanti Om!

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    1. My favorite quasi telenovela is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cKGyOE_jOI

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