This is a catch-up post. I have not written in a few days because I have been either completely debilitated with a headache or exhausted because I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and could not get back to sleep.
I wonder how stress affects me.
I leave today for Florida for Doris' funeral. Primo asked me to stay an extra day and arrive early - I wanted to fly down on Saturday and leave Monday because around Sly is the last place I want to be.
I don't care that Sly has told Primo to "give [me] his best." You don't get to erase ten years of meanness (and even two weeks ago, Sly was telling Primo that Primo had bad taste in women) with a few throwaway comments.
I will be nice. Don't worry. I will be nice. But I do not believe that Sly has changed and I will remain on guard. I am being nice for Primo, not for Sly.
Primo feels sorry for Sly because Sly is old and feeble overnight. Primo is more forgiving than I. Of course, he wants to forgive. Sly is his father. I have no connection to Sly and do not crave his approval.
But I leave today - Friday - for Florida and don't come back until Tuesday and that's for Primo.
When I am around Sly, I will smile and I will take notes.
The funeral is Sunday. Primo is going to have to get Sly there in a wheelchair. Sly really is weak and feeble.
Two days ago, Jack called Primo and suggested that they change the funeral from 2 p.m. with a reception at the funeral home to a later time with everyone getting together for dinner somewhere.
I guess Jack has never planned an event where other people are invited? But changing funeral plans five days before the funeral - ten days after Primo has emailed everyone, including Doris' friends, with the information? (Not that there are that many people who would need to be informed, but just the principle.) To change everything then? And I'm sure it wasn't that Jack was volunteering to do the work. He wanted Primo to do it.
Primo said no.
Primo said that his dad continues to bad-mouth his first wife, Jack and Ted's mother.
"I wish I hadn't married Isabel," Primo said, "but I don't spend all my time being bitter about it or being mean about her. I wish I hadn't, but I did and I have to look at the good. I have two wonderful stepdaughters in my life. That's the part I think about."
He's right. He does not trash-talk Isabel. Oh sure, he will mention that she was irresponsible, but he also acknowledges that she was a lot of fun to be around and that they did have a few good years. "She was not a bad person," he says. "We just should not have been married to each other. I've never even heard my dad say, 'I can't even say I wish I hadn't married my ex, because then I would be wishing Jack and Ted didn't exist.' He's never even acknowledged that at least he has Ted and Jack."
Primo 1, Sly 0