Primo: I need to figure out where to meet with the campaign team next week.
Me: Why don't you just meet here?
Primo: Oh, I told them that you wouldn't like it.
Primo: Yes. I told everyone on my team that you didn't want us meeting at the house.
Me: That's not true!
Primo: That's what I told them.
Me: I don't care if you guys meet here, but I am not going to be the hostess. You do what you want, but I am not cooking for you or attending the meeting or cleaning the house. I will be downstairs watching "Call the Midwife."
Primo: I don't want to host! I don't want to have to get food and clean!
Me: I don't care. But don't lie and tell them it's because of me.
A week later. Primo and I are at an art exhibit at an organization dedicated to protecting our constitutional rights. One of the women who is running his campaign works there. Although she and I don't necessarily agree on the partisan issues, we both agree that the Move to Amend movement is absolutely insane and nobody should be trying to alter the First Amendment. We also agree that most people do not understand that the Bill of Rights applies only to what the government can do to you, not to what private employers or individuals can do. See? I can be bipartisan.
I tell her that it was not me who forbade meeting at the house.
Primo rolls his eyes.
Me: I told Primo it would be just fine but that I was not going to cook or clean or attend the meeting. I said you guys could go on with your bad selves* while I watched TV in the basement.
Primo: OK! I admit it! I don't want to have to do all the work!
She laughs. Then we discuss how Primo is 1. a waiter til the last minuter, 2. a panicker, and 3. a freak outer.
She says, "Yes, I know he freaks out. And is super dramatic."
Primo rolls his eyes again. "She told me I get three freak outs in this campaign and I already used one of them last weekend with the interview."
* A phrase that has truly become mainstream if I am using it and is undoubtedly way past date now.