Saturday, August 30, 2014

In which we find someone who can be in solidarity with Sly in his anger at my bad bacon eating and I wonder if Sly can go to therapy to deal with my bad bacon eating

I saw this on and thought of Sly immediately:

Q. Ice Cream: My brother eats the strawberry and chocolate part of the Neapolitan ice cream and only leaves the vanilla part. He does it despite our protests. I’m devastated and have received counseling for this. Is there a civil way to stop him?
A: Your brother is dope. My grandparents used to get Neapolitan ice cream and the way you eat it is to devour the chocolate, then toss the telltale vanilla and strawberry mounds until all is even. As much as you may have needed therapy for this situation, consider that if you buy a couple of quarts of chocolate it might divert your brother from the Neapolitan. But if that doesn’t work, try to stay civil while you explore the possibility of a civil suit.

Perhaps I can send this link to him and recommend that he seek counseling for his problem with how I eat bacon. Blesshisheart.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

In which I start my new job

Here are the things I encountered on Day 1 of my new job. They are the usual things that one finds on one's first day but I did not find at my previous job with Sergio.

1. There is free coffee. (Wait - we did have that at SergioLand, but it was not very good. What is the point of having free coffee if it tastes crummy?)
2. There was a nameplate with my name on it at my workspace. At SergioLand, they had stopped making nameplates as a cost-saving device. I never did get one.
3. My phone was ready. Even though I had not merely moved from one to division to another, moving only one floor, but had never even worked at this company before.
4. My computer was ready. At SergioLand, they had a month's notice that I was coming. That I was moving from one division to another. From one floor to another. And yet, my computer was not ready when I arrived.
5. My new boss took me to lunch.
6. My new boss took me around and introduced me to everyone.
7. There was a welcome sign at reception for me.
8. There is a gym with free towels. This, however, is an unfair comparison to make to SergioLand, as SergioLand was close to a gym that I could walk to at lunch.

Most of all, at NewJob, I have a boss who is interested in having conversations about things that are not work. It will be very interesting working with someone like him instead of Sergio.