Thursday, March 12, 2015

In which Primo goes to visit Sly and Doris even though it is in the middle of the campaign - not because they threatened (again) to disinherit him but because Doris is not eating and Primo is worried she might die soon

Primo has decided to quit his job (did I tell you that?) and his last day is soon but he spoke to Sly and Doris and Doris is sick. She has lost about ten pounds - she is already thin - because she isn't eating - she drinks, instead - and she has diarrhea. Primo is worried, so even though it's only a month until the election and he had not planned to visit them again for at least eight months, he is going.

He is also going to take a steak - "My dad says that the steaks at their store are bad" - to which I say, "Your dad is never happy with anything. Has he considered that perhaps he is the X in the equation?"

The last time Primo took a steak, it did not end well. Primo took one of our Good Steaks with him, going through a lot of effort to get it there, and arguing that I was wrong, that they would appreciate it, and that he should make the effort to take one of our limited-supply steaks for people who are heavy drinkers and former smokers and who therefore have no taste buds left at all.

I don't think we should go through any effort at all for Sly and Doris, as they never appreciate it and as they really don't deserve it. Who wants to do nice things for mean people?

But Primo took a Good Steak and he grilled it for them and they ate it and they said that it was not all that.

We have served the Good Steaks to many of our friends and everyone has always raved. Maybe our friends are liars but are just nice, but even if that's the case, our friends cared enough about Primo's feelings to lie.

Sly and Doris think so little of Primo's feelings that they did not even say, "Wow, Son, thank you for going through such great effort to get a steak halfway across the country just for us. We sure are lucky to have a son who loves us so much that he does nice things like that."

So I advised him not to take a steak again but he will anyhow, although at least this time he just bought a steak at the grocery store and will not waste one of our Good Steaks on ingrates.

He plans to talk to them about their plans, which, if you will remember, have in the past been that Primo would take care of them. That has never been Primo's plan. Or mine.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

In which Primo maintains that politics is not a hobby and I say that it is

I say that politics is definitely a hobby when it comes to determining who is responsible for doing the housework, especially if the party of the first part - Primo - is going to quit his perfectly good job to campaign, leaving the party of the second part - me - to earn all the money in the house.

He gets all indignant when I say that politics is a hobby and that he, as the stay at home spouse, will be in charge of cleaning the bathroom and doing the laundry and washing the kitchen floor and buying the food and making supper.

He gets all huffy and says that politics is Important and it's a Cause and I say it's all bullshit and all I want the government to do is make sure the roads and schools are good and to stay out of my life unless it is going to clean my house.

I say unless your cause comes with dental and a 401k, it's a hobby.