For those who don't believe, Number One

And these aren't even bad. I wasn't hurt. I was ashamed for some of them, but - never hurt.

But in almost every case, my wishes, my voice, my space - subordinate to what a man wanted. There are men like this.

I am five
I am at the park across the street from our apartment with my friend. We are playing on the swings.

This is back in the days when parents would let their children go to the park alone. I still think it's OK to let children go to a park alone. Just teach them.

My friend and I are playing. A man sits on the swing next to us. I notice he has some weird pink thing on his lap.

I realize that the pink thing is his penis. I have a brother. I have seen a penis before. And even though I am only five, I know that a penis is not something you show to other people.

Then he asks us if we want to go into the men's room with him.

We run back to my apartment and tell my mother, who calls the police immediately.

My friend says he had long hair and was wearing jeans. I remember that he had short hair and was wearing khakis. (I doubt I knew the word "khakis" at that age, but whatever.) We disagree on every aspect of the story except

• He had a pink thing in his lap, a pink thing that was his penis
• He asked us to go into the men's room with him

I am eight

We live on a military base in Spain. A  military base has controlled access. This one has a barbed-wire fence around the perimeter; that perimeter is patrolled. You do not get though the gate without proper identification. If you wanted to walk or drive onto the air force base near where you live, you probably would not be allowed to.

My sister and I are walking home from school. 

We are walking home from school in an area with controlled access.

A man - not in uniform - approaches us. His penis is hanging out of his pants.

I am twelve

My friend and I are walking home from school. It's the middle of the afternoon. 

You know where this is going. A man walks toward us with his penis hanging out of his pants.

Honestly. What do these guys think will happen? That we will be so entranced that we will forget that we are just little girls and decide that we want to play with that thing? Even as an adult, I don't understand the purpose of penis photos. Are they supposed to make me interested? Titillate me? What is the point?

The Candidate's Wife: Every time I think there is nothing more to write about, there is

You guys, I have not been writing much. Primo has backed way out of politics, which means - not much political stuff to write about.

I mean, sure, there is a ton of political stuff to write about, but - I am not interested in writing about politics.

I am interested in writing about the politics of politics - the backroom dealings, the brother against brother stuff, the pitting of the county mayor against the county board, even though they are allegedly on the same side but in real life, they hate each others' guts and do everything they can to undermine each other because it's not about standing next to each other and doing what's best for the county, it's about each of them doing what's best for themselves and that's a point that Primo doesn't ever see because he is such an idealist but I am cynical and after spending a lot more time around politicians than most people do, have a very low opinion of them.

But - even with Primo being mostly out of the game, there is stuff happening:

1. The mayor sought out Primo's challenger, whom he had never met before, and told her he would endorse her.

Not that Primo doesn't want the mayor to do this - but Primo has met the mayor on many occasions and has helped so many people in their campaigns and - the mayor never offered to endorse him. This is not a game for people who have feelings.

2. People are still angry that Primo withdrew from the race. Every time Primo does attend some political event, people approach him to express their discontent.

May I note here that these people did not donate money to his campaign, volunteer to campaign for him, put his signs in their yard, or even share his facebook posts.

If you don't support a candidate, you don't get to be mad when the candidate decides not to run.

Interestingly, almost all the people who donated to Primo's campaign told him to keep the money. He called every donor and offered to return the money. I think all but one or two said, "Nope. You have already had expenses. And if those expenses are covered, please just give the money to another candidate."

3. Primo's wonderful, sweet political fairy godfather - I can't remember what I have named him here, but he is the one who prepared all the food for Primo's karaoke fundraiser a few years ago - has been talking to the gubernatorial candidate about a job for Primo in the new administration if the candidate wins.

Primo didn't even ask FG to do so. Primo and I went to a fundraiser a few weeks ago and FG was there. After making us a plate of food to take with us - we had only a few minutes, FG told Primo that he thinks Primo would be really good in an appointed position.

I agree.

I think Primo would make very well thought out laws, but the process of getting to those laws? And the process of even being elected?

That's not his thing. He's not competitive enough and he's not a compromiser because how can you compromise if you believe something is right? (This is a nice way of saying Primo is not flexible, but in his world, 2+2=4 and that's just how it is.)(Which is how you want someone designing a microchip that will run an airplane to think.)(But which doesn't work so well in politics.)

Anyhow. We shall see. Maybe Primo will stay in the political world after all.

Which means I will have juicy stories for you.