In which K and I agree there is no point to having good food at a political fundraiser

So you know how I was going to cook and read and watch TV today?

I also got to research how to repair dry wood rot in exterior window frames.

Thank you, previous owners of our 1928 house who did crap maintenance.

In other news, K came over to help Primo with campaign strategy.

We got on the subject of Roberto, the guy who wanted to revamp Primo's campaign strategy a week before the election but didn't want to deliver yard signs.

"There is always That Guy!" K laughed. "That guy is usually retired and sits around reading and listening to political stuff and he has figured out the secret to winning! Ask any campaign manager and she will tell you that That Guy is her worst nightmare."

I shook my head. "I wanted to tell Roberto either to donate some money or deliver yard signs but we were not going to discuss or change strategy at this point."

"There is this one guy who keeps his notes in a plastic bag," K said, "and he brings them with him to political events. And then he wants to talk about them. He pulls them out of the bag! But then he doesn't ever donate."

"I hate raising money," I said. "I never want to have another fundraiser at our house again. We discovered that we are really, really good at turning about $500 worth of wine into $150 in cash."

"That's how it usually goes," K said. "The Smiths had a fundraiser for Candidate X last week. They spent $1,500 on getting it catered and the food was really nice, but I kept telling them not to spend that kind of money. The candidate was telling them not to spend that kind of money - that he would rather they write him a check for $1,000 and have not as much food. All you need is a few bottles of wine, some cheese, and some fruit. Nobody expects fancy."

"If we ever do it again, it's Costco trays," I said. "I am never cooking for a fundraiser again."

She nodded. "The Smiths keep asking how much was raised. I have been hedging, telling them that yeah, pretty much as much as they spent, but really, it was only $750. I can't bear to tell them."

"Well, we will never host a fundraiser again," I said, looking at Primo, "but if we did, I think I would just make peanut butter sandwiches."

In which Primo informs me that he has people coming over tomorrow to work on his campaign and I have to remind him to be a host because no matter what side you are on, if the hosting is bad, it's the woman's fault

I don't care if Primo has people over as long as I am not the one who has to prepare for their visit or entertain them.*

I need to work on my book.

I need to master the art of making zucchini marmalade. (Something like this, but with a lot less sugar - I am not going to process it - I will just store in the freezer - so it doesn't need the usual canning sugar/fruit/veg ratio.)

I need to read stuff. (I just finished Lindy West's book, Shrill, and I really liked it. I started Secondhand Time - The Last of the Soviets and like what I've read so far, but am not sure I am willing to spend what might be close to the last of summer weather on reading about post-communist life.)

I need to watch stuff - DCI Banks is waiting for me.

I might make rosemary soft pretzels. Not sure. I might not want to commit to that much work.

So anyway.

Having people over is Primo's thing, even though one of them is our friend K who works at the ACLU and whom I like very much.

And when you have people to your house, especially people who are helping you and not charging you, you be a host.

Me: What are you going to feed them?

Primo: What do you mean?

Me: You are having people over.

Primo: Yeah - at 1:30 p.m.

Me: And?

Primo: That's after lunch.

Me: So you give them a snack.

Primo: Oh.

Me: There is a chocolate zucchini bread in the freezer. Use that.

Primo: OK.


* He just built up some goodwill by actually going to the Sherwin Williams store to price paint for PAINTING THE DAMN EXTERIOR TRIM, which was part of the deal when he quit his job almost two years ago. Yeah, I know Sly and Doris happened, but this is a two-day project.

In which I get stressed realizing that the estate taxes are due in two weeks and I wonder why Primo has not even started to organize the paperwork when he has known for a year that this needs to be done

So I do some googling to see what the penalties are for filing and paying late because - I am a rule follower! Taxes have to be filed on time!

And I discover something on the IRS page that you have not a year after the death but only nine months to file and I am starting to hyperventilate and thinking prison and fines and then I slap myself in the face and say, "But wait! The worst that could happen is there is a fine. And the estate would have to pay it."

And I think Primo would agree. He has been a super cranky butt for the past two days. I finally figured out it was because of the taxes, which he does not want to do AND WHO CAN BLAME HIM?

He has been cranky and grouchy and pissed at Sly and Doris for dumping all this crap on him, WHICH THEY DID. They were selfish, thoughtless jerks who went out of their way to make this whole thing painful - disinheriting Primo, but then making him executor and trustee and specifying that he could not be paid.

Every time I get a little annoyed that Primo is not working, I remind myself I would rather have an unemployed Primo and no Sly and Doris than the other way around.

In which Primo realizes that doing housework is futile

Primo: Hey! I just vacuumed two days ago and there is already cat hair on the floor again!

Me: I know.

Primo: And I washed the tub last week but it is dirty again!

Me: I know.

Primo: But - that's not fair!

Me: I know.

In which I go through my list of local LinkedIn connections to find someone who might know a CPA who specializes in estates and trusts so Primo can have the estate pay a professional to do the estate taxes instead of spending days doing it himself for free and discover that the only CPA in my local connections is the guy Primo is running against

Yes, that is correct. I am connected on LinkedIn to the legislator Primo is running against. We met a few years ago the first time Primo was running. Primo and I both liked him. We connected.

But I think it would be weird to ask him now if he knows anyone.