Thursday, December 5, 2013

In which there is another fundraiser

Primo: I need to talk to you about something.

Me: No.

Primo: You don't even know what it is!

Me: When you start with, "I need to talk to you about something," it always ends with something I don't like.

Primo: This isn't bad. I'll do everything.

Me: Definitely no now.

Primo: You won't have to do a single thing.

Me: No. Way.

Primo: I spoke to Cassandra McCauly today.

Me: She wants to run for governor.

Primo: Yes. I want to have a fundraiser for her here.

Me: No. I am not doing another fundraiser.

Primo: You won't have to do anything.

Me: I'm not doing anything.

Primo: Nothing. I will do everything.

Me: I am not cooking.

Primo: I will get volunteers to bring the food.

Me: The house has to be cleaned.

Primo: I know. I will vacuum.

Me: It's not just that.

Primo: I will vacuum the living room and the dining room.

Me: The bathroom has to be cleaned.

Primo: I will vacuum the living room, the dining room, and the bathroom.

Me: No. The bathroom has to be cleaned. The toilet and the sink and the tub.

Primo: I will clean the toilet and the sink.

Me: And the tub.

Primo: That's what a shower curtain is for.

Me: Do you know how many times I have pulled the shower curtain back to check the tub at other peoples' houses?

Primo: I don't care about the tub. Nobody will be taking a shower. I don't care.

Me: But other people will. And they will blame me if it's not clean.