Thursday, August 7, 2014

In which Sergio the CEO of my company announces a new open-plan office where nobody but him gets an office

You guys, I hope by the time you read this, I will be in a new job. I have been looking. Lord have mercy, I have been looking. But looking for a job is very time consuming and exhausting and then the interviewing is a pain in the neck and you have to either take time off or make up appointments, which I don't really mind doing because there are many times when I am on the phone late in the day with Asia and you know, the hours should balance out.

There are three things I like about my job right now:

1. I can take the bus to work, which means that Primo and I can get by on one car.
2. I can go to the gym at lunch.
3. I have a window office with a really nice view.

Today, the CEO, Sergio, who is here from BA for the week while we prepare for a board meeting, announced that the office is going to be renovated.

We are going to an open plan, he said.

I know open plan makes people nervous, but it will be OK.

All the offices will be converted to meeting rooms.

Those of us in offices will move to modules within the open plan. My boss, who is a director, will lose his office.

His office will not be converted to a meeting room. His office will become Sergio's office for Sergio to use the four times a year he is in the U.S.

The rest of us -- all of us -- will be in an open area. This area will Facilitate Communication and Improve Processes and Make Us Better People.

I suggested that it might be noisy.

Oh, no. There will be white noise.

There will be TVs in the conference and break rooms. You know - because being able to watch TV while I am at work is so important.

There will be expensive renovations.

There might not be raises.

The money has to come from somewhere.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

In which I find out my readers are scary smart

You guys, I have the nicest, smartest readers in the world. A few of you have already warned me when you have come across identifying details about Primo and where we live. One of you today - hello Erik from Ask a Manager! - figured out exactly who Primo is.

I am not as sneaky as I thought I was and you guys are smart.

Although I don't think what I write about Primo's campaign could be damaging - those who are in the know know that he is not going to win, even if the incumbent were to be caught in bed with a live boy or a dead girl, I wouldn't want to embarrass him or anyone on his campaign team.

Still, I am torn. Can you imagine what it would do for my readership for this blog to be exposed? What if I could get a book deal out of it? Primo says I should re-name the blog "The Candidate's Wife." If someone wanted to pay me big bucks to write about a campaign from the spouse's POV - the spouse who does not want to be in the political world and the spouse who does not agree with the candidate on all the issues, then I would happily take the money and run.

I would also happily take the money to write a book about Sly and Doris. Indeed, I already have, although I had to have a fictional somewhat happy ending because who wants to read a book about the reality of mean inlaws? We want redemption or the possibility of redemption in what we read. I do, anyhow.

But there is no scandal in Primo's campaign, alas. No sex. No bribery. No prostitutes. No texted photos of naughty bits. No lavish parties. No gifts from donors. (There have to be donors.) I would like some lavish gifts. I want a new purse. This one. (It's even made in the US!)

Where is that guy who was so good to the governor of Virginia? Tell him to call me. We could use a new car, too. We have two cars, but one of them is a '65 Corvair that I have no interest in driving and that can't leave the garage when it is raining.

No pregnant volunteers and no lying about who the daddy is. I don't have cancer. Neither of us get $400 haircuts. We both go to Carol and she charges $21. We tip $5 and give a bigger Christmas tip. Plus she is our friend.

Dang. I realize that we are doing this all wrong. If I want a book deal, I have to write about something more interesting than the fact that Primo copy-edits what his social media coordinator posts on facebook.

I decided it is not prudent to post about the campaign before the election. After the election, nobody will care. I will post then. I might have some innocuous posts before November. If I mess up and leave in the name of the district or a coffeeshop that is found only in this city, please let me know! I appreciate you all looking out for me.