Friday, September 2, 2016

In which Primo sees that one of the names on his walk list is that of the guy who wanted to discuss campaign strategy but had no interest in helping with practical issues

Primo: Oh! Guess who's name is on my list?

Me: Who?

Primo: Roberto!

Me: Oh no! Do not stop there. Just skip his house!

[When Primo ran the first time, Roberto was really excited about the campaign and wanted to talk about strategy and wanted to completely revise Primo's strategy but didn't want a yard sign in his yard because he said he was worried about retribution from his neighbors, even though almost everyone where we live votes Primo's and Roberto's way. I would ask him to help with the practical things, like assembling and delivering yard signs, but he did not want to do that. Maybe because it is boring - it IS boring. I don't want to do it. But on a campaign, you don't get to do just the fun stuff and leave the crap for other people.]

Primo: I know he'll sign.

Me: You need 300 signatures. Do you have to get his?

Primo: If I could just get the signature....

Me: He is the nicest guy, but he wants to talk about all the theory about campaigning and doesn't want to do any of the legwork!


Thursday, September 1, 2016

In which both Primo and I forget that it is the one-year anniversary of Doris' death and we wonder if we should feel guilty about that

Primo: I'm not doing it right!

Me: What? [worried that something has gone horribly wrong in collecting signatures for his nominating petition and he will try to involve me in a conversation about politics when all I want to do is bake some cakes for our neighbors, who include 1. new people, 2. people who just had a baby, and 3. a couple who is getting married. Any excuse is good for cake. But I need it to be cake with vegetable oil instead of butter because we are almost out of butter and Primo has not had a chance to get to Aldi.]

Primo: Do you think death anniversaries are important?

Me: Nope. But your mom sure did.

Primo: Yeah. She would get really upset if I didn't call her on Nancy's death anniversary AND on Nancy's birthday. [Doris got upset about everything.]

Me: It's not something I care about.

Primo: It was one year ago today that my mom died.

Me: Oh!

Primo: I hadn't even thought about it.

Me: Me neither.

Primo: Niece #2 sent me a text.

Me: Was it a text giving condolences or asking for them?

Primo: Giving. She wrote, "Thinking of you today, Uncle Primo. xoxoxox."

Me: That is really sweet and thoughtful.

Primo: Am I supposed to be sending something out?

Me: No. You had the closest degree of relationship with your mom. They contact you if they want. But you don't contact them.

Primo: Good.

Me: But it was awfully nice of her. She's a sweet kid.

Primo: Yes.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

In which Primo suggests once again that I rename this blog "The Candidate's Wife" and I suggest that he be celibate until after the election

OK. That's not exactly what happened. I left out a few steps between the "HEY! I'm going to run for office again!" announcement and the "You can sleep alone" part.

1. There is a UTI involved. So I am not interested. That's the real reason for the Lysistrata move.
2. I told him that I have not spent my life yearning to define myself in relation to a man.

And.

Although I am not happy** that Primo is running again,

1. I remind myself that an unemployed husband who is running for state-level office whose parents are no longer a factor in our lives is a gajillion times better than an employed husband not running for office whose parents make him miserable.
2. All the work he has done to help other candidates and politicians might actually be coming back to roost. The guy whose spot he ran to fill four years ago who got all pissy with Primo actually wrote Primo a check yesterday when Primo was out collecting nominating signatures and told Primo he would gather signatures for him.*
3. Someone from the party called him last night and told him that they are putting a staffer at Primo's disposal and will give him the voter lists. As in, unlike last time, where they were happy to charge Primo for all this stuff because who doesn't like to make money from someone who is DOING YOU A FAVOR BY RUNNING, it looks like the party might actually be supporting him.
4. SLY AND DORIS ARE NOT A FACTOR IN OUR LIVES! (MUCH!) ANYTHING IS BETTER! I CAN DEAL WITH ANYTHING! EVEN PRIMO RUNNING FOR OFFICE AGAIN!




* For non-US readers who are not intimately familiar with our system - for a candidate to get on the ballot, he has to collect a certain number of signatures (the number depends on which office he is seeking) from eligible voters in the district. This involves spending the entire weekend and all evenings during the week walking from door to door asking people to sign the petition. Some people sign; some do not. There are a very few people who can be nasty, which I don't get - if you don't like the guy, don't vote for him. But - people are very angry in this country right now - there is a huge amount of frustration with politics and politicians and someone who actually comes to your door and says he is a candidate? He is an easy target.

For the office Primo is seeking, he needs 200 valid signatures, which means getting a lot more, just in case some are disqualified.



** Primo just looked over my shoulder and said, "Uh oh! I see you wrote, 'I am not happy!'"