1. Doris is dead. She has been dead for three years.
2. Doris never lived at our address.
3. Companies that sell mailing lists apparently do not validate their lists against the "Deceased do not contact" list. Or - maybe they do?
4. Doris never owned a timeshare.
5. I guess timeshare owners are presumed to be unable to use the internet?
6. Keep sending junk mail, you idiots. Using paper helps the stability of my potential pension and using the USPO keeps my first-class mail rates down.
