Friday, April 22, 2016

In which Primo could give the money to Ted but we don't want to because Ted has been such a jerk

Primo: I talked to the lawyer about the house contract. I figured as long as I was on the phone with him, I would ask about Ted.

Me: What did he say?

Primo: He says that I have a lot of discretion on reimbursing for past expenses.

Me: You mean expenses from before your parents died?

Primo: Yes. So it's good news but also bad news.

Me: Because now there is no reason for you not to give Ted the money.

Primo: They want about $6,500 for old school expenses.

Me: Oh man. So you could give it to them, but then it's like they won!

Primo: I know. But maybe then they would stop.

Me: Hahahaha.

Primo: I know.

Me: If they want you to write that check, they need to send something better than fruit. Don't they know you are a chocolate guy?

Primo: I don't know.

Me: And we have a pear tree in our yard!

Primo: But it's not in season.

Me: Thank you Sheldon.

In which I told the people on that Primo did indeed have a stuffed cat

In a discussion about how to return gifts after a breakup - the topic of stuffed cats came up. You need to read the whole thing.

Primo has not only a stuffed cat, but also these cats in other medium (media?)

I thought we were getting rid of a basement box - one that had decorative wooden bowls that had no sentimental meaning, but within the bowls were packed - CATS.

The cats cannot go to Goodwill. Says Primo. I need to try the, "But what about the leetle cheeldren who do not have stuffed cats and whose parents are poor?"

In which Primo does laundry even though he is cranky and hello welcome to reality for the rest of us

Primo: I'm doing housework even though I'm cranky!

Me: Yes. It is possible to do work even while one is cranky.

Primo: Not for me. I tend to shut down.

In which Ted sends us a copy of his will

Primo: Ted sent another email.

Me: I know. You  just told me.

Primo: No! In addition to that one!

Me: About what?

Primo: He included copies of their wills and trusts.

Me: WTF? Why? We do not need to see their will!

Primo: He says maybe his will can help us as we review our will. Because they have a "top flight" wills and estates lawyer.

Me: He is such a presumptuous jerk.

In which Ted emails Primo about the trust - I guess he thinks a box of pears requires complete compliance with his requests

Primo: Just got an email from Ted about Ted'sSon's trust.

Me: We were SO right!

Primo: Yeah. I'm going to tell him that I am not even dealing with the trusts until I have sold the house. Nothing is going to happen until after I sell the house.

In which we discover the real reason for the pears and it's about what we suspected

1. Pears arrived yesterday.

2. Email from Ted'sWife arrived today asking for reimbursement for Ted'Son's school expenses. This is the same request TW already sent to Primo and to which Primo replied, "Send me the documentation."

Current email has no documentation.

Primo: This whole month has been about buttering me up! The lack of nasty emails, the call on Thanksgiving, the pears.

Me: Just what we thought.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

In which Ted sends us a Christmas present and Primo and I are like, "Really!?"

I am working at home this week (loooooooove my boss), which means I do not even get out of my pajamas until noon, which is when I change into gym clothes, go down to the basement, turn on the roku, and work out with Kelly on

Try her. I like her.

I am working at home which means I see the mail when it arrives.

A box. A box arrived.

A box from Harry and David. (Which BTW is one of the many catalog companies that keep sending crap to Sly and Doris and I keep trying to get them to STOP.)

A box full of eels.

I joke!

A box full of pears.

Looks delish.

It is from Ted and Ted'sWife.

They have never even sent us a card before. I have never even sent them a card, so we are even. But I am also of the philosophy that the husband takes care of his side of the family and the wife takes care of hers. Just because I married Primo does not mean I assumed all of his social communications duties.

A present. From Ted. Who has not been nasty to Primo for weeks.

Primo is happy.

I am happy, too, that Ted is not being nasty, but I do not trust him.

I messaged Stephanie and asked if Ted has ever sent her a Christmas present. She says they had exchanged some gifts but that was way before she and Jack divorced.

The evidence, ladies and gents of the jury:

1. Ted has never sent us a present before
2. Ted has never sent us a card before
3. Ted has not been in the habit of communicating with Primo (or me) since - well, since ever
4. Do you think Ted wants something?
5. I do.

In which Sam counsels Primo that Ted is a jerk - which we all knew

From:        Primo  
Cc:        Goldie
12/17/2015 10:24 AM 
RE: Travel Plans 


We are scheduled to arrive on Tuesday, December 29 at 3:21 p.m. on Delta (from Detroit) and depart on Sunday, January 3 at 10:06 a.m. (on Delta to Detroit).

The process of selling my parents' house is taking longer than I had hoped. There are the usual hassles related to inspections and repairs, but the title company has raised another issue: there is apparently some kind of conflict between the trust language and Florida's homestead law. I am waiting to find out whether I inherited part of the house after my mother's death because of the homestead law. (If so, some of the proceeds of the sale should be mine, which would be a positive development.)


Subject: RE: Travel Plans
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 2015 10:45:57 -0500

Sounds good.  Stay away from people with colds and flu, and get a flu shot.  Best thing ever. 

Sorry that the house is a hassle.  It would be nice if you get a kicker since your parents boxed you out of an executor fee and to compensate you for the asshole half-brother factor.
Law firm
500 Plant Street - Suite 4500
Office:   555-1212 (4-1212)

In which Primo and I negotiate Getting Stuff Done that should just Be Done

There is some tension in our house right now because the guest room is full of Sly and Doris' junk (Primo trying to sort out all their financial papers so he can send everything to the accountant to do their 2015 taxes and then so he can do the trust taxes in the death year.)

(IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN and you are not a complete jerk - which, if you are reading this blog, you 1. do and 2. are not, then please please please keep your financial papers current. Shred old documents. Organize papers in the proper files. You do have files, right? I am sure I have some accountant readers who can advise us on what you have to keep and what you do not, but I am pretty sure that check registers from the 1970s are not useful and that Medicare EOBs from seven years ago are also unnecessary.

And we don't need your poop diary.)

Anyhow. The guest room is full of stuff.

The living room is full of stuff.

When we moved into the house eight years ago, Primo promised to get rid of most of the boxes in the basement - boxes he had brought here from California without even looking in them and that include things like his employee manual and the earthquake guide and a bunch of floppy discs from when he worked at Apple in the early '90s.

Those were the Bad Years, BTW - the years that the people who worked there did not get rich.

Oh well.

I hate having all this crap around. I want it gone.

Primo gets paralyzed by overwhelming tasks because the way he works is that if he starts something, he feels compelled to finish it in one fell swoop.

I break a job down into manageable tasks and then commit to only small chunks of time.

That is, Primo is Waterfall and I am Agile.

He spent the afternoon yesterday trying to

1. Find an appraiser to give a date of death appraisal for Sly and Doris' house. Apparently, you cannot use the appraisal for selling the house and the guy who did the appraisal for selling the house does not do estate tax appraisals.

2. Emailing the lawyer about the house, which the woman at the title company had told Primo was good to go but then wrote back and said there had been some change in Florida homestead exemption law and Sly and Doris had not done what they were supposed to do and complicationcomplicationcomplication. The lawyer and the title lady have to figure it out. Primo and I googled "changes in Florida homestead law estates trusts" and wanted to hit our heads against the wall until they were bloody. Holy smoke. I don't care what it costs the estate - someone else has to deal with this.

He was supposed to be clearing out a bunch of stuff from the living room and figuring out how to get the money from a credit union account that Sly had put him on earlier in the year so he could pay bills and he was supposed to be reimbursing his estate expenses for the past several months.

Of all of these, it is most important to me that he get the money from the credit union account (because that is now our money) and that he reimburse himself for his expenses. Why you ask? Because if he dies in a car crash tomorrow, I want that cash in my hand.

I was getting all pissy yesterday looking at all the junk in the living room and then I thought, "Slow down missy. Sly and Doris are no longer a factor in your life. If someone had asked you a year ago if you would trade getting them out of your life for having some boxes in your living room for a few months, what would you have said?"

So I adjusted my attitude.

And then, after Primo and I had a date night, which we have not had in a long, long time, watching The Judge in the basement with the cats, who were all excited because when we watch movies in the basement, we have to put a heavy blanket over the space heater and our legs because the basement is cold and hard to heat and the cats love to sit on the blanket-covered space heater, we sorted through some of the living room stuff, putting a big plastic tote together to go into the basement To Be Dealt With Later, which I can live with, and Primo agreed to donate a box of decorative wooden bowls that he had bought for his old apartment but had no sentimental value and had been in the basement since we moved into the house.

I got a box out of the basement. Gone!

And then we negotiated today.

Me: What are you going to get done on Thursday?

Primo: I really need to deal with that credit union stuff.

Me: What about reimbursing yourself?

Primo: I can't get all of that done! I don't even have the receipts consolidated.*

Me: You said you would clean the bathroom.

Primo: That's a lot! I hate cleaning the bathroom.  And I need to do laundry.

Me: I will make you a deal.

Primo: What?

Me: If you will get the money from the credit union - or at least do all that you can on your end - and if you will consolidate all of your estate expense receipts, I will clean the tub.

Primo: OK.

Me: Good.

* I would have all my receipts consolidated.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Monday, April 18, 2016

In which Primo will not inherit half the house and we miss a chance to watch Ted go completely ballistic, so we are sad

1. The homestead thing was set up properly so Primo will not inherit half of the house. Oh well.

2. We are now getting Christmas cards for Sly and Doris. Well. One card. Maybe people don't send cards to people who write cards that end with rantings about how Old White Men are running and ruining the world.