Friday, January 22, 2010

In which Primo is barred from Claudia's wedding

June 2008 Claudia, Primo's older stepdaughter, is getting married in August. We have been waiting for the invitation, but have not gotten anything yet. Odd.

I met Claudia for the first time that March. I wanted to hear all about the wedding but she seemed reluctant to talk about it. I couldn't figure it out. Finally, it hit me: Claudia is a lovely young woman. Well mannered, sweet. Probably because Primo did most of her raising.*

"Claudia," I said. "It would probably be uncomfortable for your mom [Isabel , Primo's ex] for me to be at your wedding,** so I certainly don't expect to be invited. But I love to talk about weddings, so please tell me what you have planned."

Ah. That was the key. She spilled, in her quiet, timid way. The wedding was to be at a winery. Primo loves wine. Lots of friends and family Primo hadn't seen in a while. Isabel's mother, who loooooves Primo, would be there.

So. We are waiting for the invitation. It hasn't arrived. "Call her," I urge. "Maybe it got lost." We know Claudia wants Primo there. A year ago, when she and Steve got engaged, she asked Primo to walk her down the aisle.

He calls. Comes downstairs.

"Isabel doesn't want me there."


"Isabel. She's mad at me. She told Claudia not to invite me."

This is the Isabel who got probably one of the most generous divorce settlements evah.***

Why is she mad at Primo?

Because Isabel, who married her first husband in a Catholic church, then got a divorce, then married Primo in a Presbyterian church without getting her first marriage annulled because she cared that much about being Catholic, saw that I had her marriage to Primo annulled. Which took about two weeks because 1. she married Primo without getting her first marriage annulled and 2. she married Primo in a Presbyterian church. So it wasn't even the hard kind of annulment, for those of you who know anything about annulments.****

Basically, her marriage to Primo was declared invalid in the Catholic Church, which was something that she obviously hadn't even cared about to begin with.

And she was mad about it.

And willing to punish her own daughter to get at Primo.

What a lady, huh?

The good news is that her little stunt kills Primo's lingering guilt about the divorce. May it rest in peace.

* More about all that later. Primo and I have just completed the negotiations about what I can talk about with respect to Isabel and Le Divorce. Not that there is any love lost with Isabel , but Claudia and Chloe are sweet and Isabel is their mother. You know.

** Primo and I met at our 20 year college reunion, a few years after he and Isabel split. I am not a homewrecker. But that doesn't mean Isabel wants to see me.

*** Rule 1 of divorce that we learned way too late: Get the baddest, meanest lawyer you can find. Do not have a mediated divorce.

**** They can drag on for years and go into every detail of your married life.


  1. I know more about Catholic marriage annulments than I ever expected to. Methinks I shall blog about it.

  2. Was Bertha paying for the wedding? If not, Claudia should have reminded her whose wedding it was and invited whoever she wanted to.

    Annulments are even easier for Episcopalians. The priest sends a letter to the bishop and the bishop sends a letter back to the priest. No charge too.

  3. Poor Claudia. I bet she wanted him there.
    I want to hear what Tex has to say about annulments too...

  4. Tex, I cannot wait to read what you have to say!

    Richard, we really messed up by even putting Bertha's address on the annulment application. She didn't even have to know about the annulment because it was documentary.

    The canon lawyer told us she wouldn't be notified, but the office manager at the diocese sent her a letter anyhow. I was so mad. I had emailed him and told him on the phone not to contact her. If she needed to be told, Primo was going to tell her. It could not have been handled worse. She didn't need to get a letter from the diocese.

    Claudia and Steve paid for their own wedding, but Bertha played a card that I will tell you about later. Plus Claudia is timid little thing. A few days before the wedding, Bertha did relent, but sure - that's when Primo is going to get a cross-country plane ticket? I am still livid with Bertha. Every time she asks for more money now, I remind Primo of the wedding.

    Maureen, I think Claudia was pretty upset. She is having a baby in May. We will not let Bertha keep us from seeing the baby!