Monday, May 14, 2012

In which Sly really does criticize how I eat bacon

I am going through some old emails and found this one from Primo. Remember the Bad Bacon Eater episode? He had forwarded me an email from Sly and Doris:

I was also put off by the obsessive way she ate her bacon, which I considered more than weird. If, in company, one doesn't want to eat what is served, either refuse it or don't eat it. What she did was kind of an insult to me.

Then they went on with some more great parental observations:

I guess I will have to remind you that you are THE LIGHT of ourlives. Your sister is dead, and the pain doesn't diminish much with time.

Your stepbrothers, despite the caring we tried to exhibit during their upbringing with [their mother and stepfather], have proven to be grave disappointments in multiple ways. Your new love has two siblings,which should be of some comfort to her and her mother and a potential "extended family" for you.

I encourage you to cultivate Ted's family tie because, without his bullshit, he seems to have a keen mind. We will never be able to understand Jack because he simply doesn't communicate with anyone.

[Ted's wife] is also a very complex and interesting person--her sense of entitlement seems to have come from her upbringing as a diplomat's daughter in households that always had servants and "uppity" social circles.

15 comments:

  1. I like the fact that the way YOU prefer to eat YOUR bacon is considered obsessive and weird.

    Have you thought about fighting fire with fire? Maybe the next time they come over, you tell Sly that the way he eats something is offensive to you? But then again, he probably wouldn't catch the drift.

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    Replies
    1. Amy Lynn, that's a great idea, but I think you are correct - he wouldn't get it.

      Delete
  2. What kind of people make those sorts of judgements? and in writing? What a load of guilt and weight to put on a child you claim to love.

    I do not envy you your in-laws. (Sorry, Primo!)

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    Replies
    1. I know! Most of us gossip - but most of us have the sense not to put our negative opinions about OUR OWN FAMILIES in writing!

      Seeing this makes me wonder what they're saying about Primo and me to the others.

      Delete
  3. "If, in company, one doesn't want to eat what is served, either refuse it or don't eat it. What she did was kind of an insult to me."

    Are you shitting me?

    How about this instead:

    When, with company, one doesn't like that way one's guests eats their food, one should just shut the hell up and not pass judgement.

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    1. Yeah, I thought it was rude to comment on what other people are eating, no matter what. I watched a dinner guest whine about not being hungry, then serving herself food that she didn't eat. It made me sick to think of having to throw away what she wasn't going to eat, but I didn't say anything to her!

      She is not, however, invited back.

      I didn't like her, anyhow. She came with some other people.

      Delete
  4. People actually use the word "uppity" in a non-ironic sense? Wow, who knew?

    I also like that MIL mentions the "caring we tried to EXHIBIT." What an odd and telling word choice.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, because appearing to care is what matters. Not being sincere.

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  5. Also? "I encourage you to cultivate Ted's family tie because, without his bullshit, he seems to have a keen mind."

    I... what does that even mean?

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  6. Hi Gold digger,
    I came across your blog from your link on the Huffington about proposals. I've been reading your archived posts for 2010 then in panic came to check the recent posts to be sure you guys are still together.
    You are. I'm glad. Fcuk the MIL letters. You guys rock!!

    p.s. pls pardon my french.
    p.p.s. you write beautifully.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Ginger,

      Thank you so much for your nice comments! Yes, we are still together, despite Sly and Doris' wishes. I haven't seen them in two years. My life is better that way, although it does give me less material.

      GD

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  7. Whoa. Insane letter. Completely insane. And I thought my PIL were "challenging."
    I love, love your writing, by the way. Am working through from the beginning. I identify with so much of what you write; the traveling, the weird PIL, the love you have (it's still present tense) for your dad. Just enjoying it all. And I laugh out loud at phrases Iike "oily man print".
    -A great way to enjoy my Spring Break while DH is gone on yet another business trip (yup - he's an engineer with lots of FF miles, like Prime).
    Horseywhee

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    1. Hi Horseywhee - Thank you so much. It is cathartic for me to write this stuff and even more cathartic to hear from people in similar situations. You start to wonder if maybe you are the 'X,' but there are too many of us with crazy PILs for it to be us! Solidarity!

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