"Can we give it to your brothers and have them give it to you?" they asked.
As well they should. Primo has not taken a penny from them since he finished college. His two half brothers, on the other hand, have been seeking and getting financial help from Sly and Doris for years and years, including a $250,000 investment in a failed business.
Primo told them that he had to follow the campaign contribution rules. "It's not worth it to get caught," he said.
Doris called yesterday and told Primo that her Polka Dots women's group wants to contribute to the campaign. Good! We'll take as much money as we can get. I do not want to spend our money on this campaign.
My mom sent Primo a $100 check for his birthday. Sly and Doris sent him a bag of chocolates and a book on using your grill as a smoker, a book that we returned because we had no interest whatsoever in using the grill as a smoker, partly because we have a smoker and partly because we don't do that much smoking.
"Couldn't your mom and dad have given you that extra thousand they wanted to donate as a birthday present?" I asked.
"Yes, they could have," he said.
"So why didn't they?"
"Why don't they pay for your plane ticket next month?" Primo is going to his mom and dad's for a week. They expect twice a year visits, which do not include, as many of you already know, pickup service at the airport.
"They didn't care if they saw me when my sister was alive," Primo said. "Then they moved to a place where it's an hour to get to the airport. And I'm supposed to pay to visit them and to rent a car twice a year."
"They know that if you win this election, our income is going to plummet, right? And that you won't be getting frequent flier miles or Hertz points any more? Which means that you won't be able to afford to fly there twice a year and get a car. Are they prepared to pay for extra visits? Because I'm not."
"I think that's one of the reasons they don't think I should run," Primo said. "I think they know it will mean less time for them."
"Tell them to pay for your plane ticket," I said.