Saturday, July 23, 2016

In which I curse American Advisors Group, or, We visit 1984

Me: Oh man. Another piece of junk mail for your mom.

Primo: And there is no postage-paid return envelope.

Me: It's one of those companies that preys on old people, so there is no email contact. Give me the phone.

Primo: Are you going to call?

Me: Yes. I am tired of this crap.


Call center person blessherheart: [lots of BS]

Me: Hi. I would like you to remove my mother in law from your mailing list. She is dead and we are not your target demographic.

CCP: OK. I will take care of it.

Me: Wait. Don't you need me to tell you who she is?

CCP: I have that information, ma'am.

Me: What is it?

CCP: I can't tell you.

Me: You can't tell me what information you have?

CCP: No ma'am.

Me: Then how do I know you have the proper information?

CCP: I'm sorry ma'am I cannot give you the information.

Me: You cannot tell me what information you have so I can tell you that yes, that is correct, and you don't care what information I have?

CCP: I am sorry, ma'am.


  1. Did you have to follow Primo's lead and throw cheese after that phone call? Reading that made me want to pull my hair out!

    1. Definitely a cheese-throwing event. She didn't even ask my name! Or Doris' name! And our phone number has nothing to do with Sly or Doris!

  2. the local water company told me my father would have to sign to put my name on his water bill account. The reason I was calling them is because he was dead. That fact did not seem to change their answer.

    1. What did you do? I would have lied and forged my dad's signature, but I am not respectful of bureaucratic rules. Especially the stupid ones.

  3. For a while I was stuffing all return postage paid envelopes with scrap sheet steel, as much as I could fit into the envelope to add weight. I'd write "Take me off your list!" on the metal. When I ran out of scrap metal, I'd stuff all the things that came with the envelope into the envelope and send it back. I've heard of people taping the envelope to a brick.
    The amount of those things has slowed to a trickle, I don't know if it's due to my tactics or me not responding in any other way.