Monday, December 18, 2017

The Candidate's Wife: Ted sends Primo $50 as a campaign contribution and Primo thinks that hell is freezing over and I say Mon ami les léopards ne changent pas leurs taches

Primo: Wow. Ted donated $50 to my campaign.

Me: What? He wants something.

Primo: No. He could change.

Me: Uh huh.

Primo: Maybe he's different now.

Me: Has he apologized for being a jerk before?

Primo: No.

Me: When someone changes, that's how you know he is sincere. He acknowledges his past wrongdoings, he asks for forgiveness, and he promises not to repeat the behavior.

Primo: That's not how it's done in my family.

Me: That's because your family doesn't do it at all.

Primo: Maybe.

Me: If Ted had truly experienced a Damascus moment, he would say, "Primo, I have been a real jerk to you. I yelled at you and have been nasty and mean to you. You did not deserve it. I was wrong. I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I promise not to act that way anymore."

Primo: He didn't do that.

Me: I am shocked.

Primo: But he did send me money.

Me: OK. Take it. But don't trust him.

Primo: Maybe he's changed.


  1. $50??? to his brother's campaign? i'd have given that much, and have never actually met Primo. he wants more from the Trust. clearly.

  2. "Maybe he's changed."

    Maybe fire breathing, winged pigs will fly out of my ass, too.