Friday, October 12, 2018

For those who don't believe, Number Three

I am 28
I am in grad school and I work for a finance professor. I really like Prof S. He's brilliant and funny and nice.

I like him in the way I like all brilliant, funny, and nice men my mother's age.

He's a nice guy who is my mother's age. As in, he is OLD.

And he is married.

But even if he weren't married, he would be OLD.

He calls me to tell me I can't work for him anymore.

"My wife doesn't like me working with nubile young women," he says.

I am confused.

Since when am I nubile? Have I been nubile around him? I am a bespectacled, slightly-chubby, ordinary-looking woman who gets her hair cut at SuperCuts (grad school, remember?) and who wears baggy jeans and sweatshirts. Is that nubile?

He paid $20/hour. I needed the money.


I am 33
After I return from the Peace Corps, I go back to Austin to look for work. I use the placement office at the business school and run into Prof S. He needs some work done and hires me. I am grateful. I work at his school office and at his house. I am careful to look not nubile in both places. I have met his wife. I don't want to offend her or prompt her to ask Prof S to fire me.

I use Prof S as a reference. He talks to the people who hire me in Miami.

Me: What did they ask? Do I know Black Scholes? Can I calculate an NPV?

Prof S: If you come to work on time.

Me: I am a top graduate - a 4.0 GPA - of a top business program and they asked you if I come to work on time?

Prof S: Yes.

I start my new job. My new boss got his MBA at Chicago, where Prof S also teaches. Turns out my new boss had a class with Prof S. Small world!

There is a problem with one of my paychecks from Prof S. I call him to straighten it out.

Prof S: How are you liking Miami?

Me: I love it!

Prof S: I've never been to Miami.

Me: Well, you and Mrs Prof S need to visit. It's a great city.

Prof S: I would like to visit.

Me: I have a spare bedroom. You guys are welcome to stay.

Prof S: Mrs Prof S can't come.

Me: Oh....

Prof S: Are you dating anyone?

Me: Nope. Out of practice.

Prof S: I could come and we could practice sex together me.

Me: What?

Prof S: You and me. We could practice sex together.

Me: Stop! STOP! You are a married man! Do not talk to me like this!

I tell my boss immediately. "Can you believe he talked to me like that?"

My boss cannot believe it. But - he believes me.

2 comments:

  1. I particularly like how his wife (whom you know) is clearly not an impediment for him, but he perceives that a partner might be for you. Logical thought problem here... you might be okay helping him cheat on his wife, but you'd not be okay cheating on your own partner?

    My own out-of-left-field experience... my logical brain thinks "wouldn't you fish first to find out how your target feels about fidelity???" but I have since been informed and come to understand that it's the ones who are *unlikely* to be okay with it that are the bigger thrill to "get".

    Sorry hon. That really stinks.

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  2. I am 30-ish and working for a Fortune 100 company as a sales rep. My team leader invites me home to dinner - I know his wife well. She works in a different department but i see her often. I accept. several days later i pop into his office and say, "Ask Jeannie what I can bring to dinner." He says, "oh, she'll be out of town." I say, "I think I'll wait and come sometime when she's home." Fortunately, he says "ok" and it did not affect our working relationship ... except that i no longer respected him.

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