In which Primo just about passes out

I sent him this photo from my work trip (yes, our vacation is over). Then he was visiting some friends and noticed their toilet paper was not right, according to the Toilet Paper Hanging Doctrine of Primo.

He asked on facebook if he should correct the problem or leave it alone.

I was shocked at how many people - friends of his - thought it was perfectly OK to change the toilet paper in someone else's house.

It's not your house, people! You don't get to make the rules.

In which Bernice is still at the beach and why not? It is one of the happiest places on earth

Bernice liked to feed cookies to the birds on the beach.

In which Bernice goes to the beach again

Bernice could not think of a better way to pass time than sitting on a beach with a book.

In which Harold and his cheapness start to get on Bernice's nerves

"Oh for pity's sake, Harold," Bernice snapped. "It's not like we can take it with us! Spend the gosh darn extra ten dollars a day and get the convertible!"

In which Bernice crosses the shoe Rubicon

As Bernice ate her poke on the balcony and prepared to go out for the day, she looked at her skirt and the cute sandals to go with the skirt. She never thought she, of all people, would cross that line. She sighed as she put on the tennies and she mourned the loss of her 20 year old feet.

In which Bernice maintains a balanced diet

Bernice says to heck with it and has malasadas once a week.

In which Bernice ditches Arthur because of his musical tastes

"I never did like Pink Floyd," Bernice told Arthur.

In which Bob mourns Bernice

Bob stopped cutting his hair after Bernice left him.

In which Bernice does the laundry

Bernice don't need no stinkin' dryer.

In which Bernice has a balanced diet

Bernice makes a sandwich with a chocolate croissant and a brownie. I love Bernice.

In which Bernice smokes and plays cards with The Boys

Bernice (who is blocked by the guy on the right, only I didn't know it until well after I took the photo) plays cards and smokes with the boys. I want to be Bernice.

PS You guys, the drama with Ted and the will starts again in a few weeks. But we did have a month where he was quiet, which made me wonder if he was dead, and we had a very happy time with NO DRAMA. So - nothing to write about. Not so great for reading, but really nice for our life!

In which Bernice takes her dog for a walk

You go, Bernice! You and your cute dog!

In which Bernice goes to the beach

You go, Bernice! If a person can't wear a bikini at Waikiki when she is 80, then what is the point of getting that old?

In which Primo and I go on vacation to the time share I do not want to own but Ted stays quiet for A MONTH and I get very lazy about blogging and I discover Bernice, the woman I want to be when I am 80 years old

What is the sequence of events that led to an 80something woman - Bernice, let's call her - removing one not both of her knee-hi nylons and hurling them at her 40something lover, Raul, who speaks almost no English? And missing?

In which a church-affiliated retirement home sends a promotional mailer to Sly and Doris

1. Who are dead and
2. Who would have wanted nothing to do with an Episcopal retirement community because of all those stupid people who believe in God.*



* I have many atheist friends who do not have a disdainful attitude towards believers, including my biology lab partner from high school, Jessica, who is both an atheist and a UU minister. But Sly and Doris - they were not tolerant of the beliefs of others.