Sunday, August 3, 2014

In which I find out my readers are scary smart

You guys, I have the nicest, smartest readers in the world. A few of you have already warned me when you have come across identifying details about Primo and where we live. One of you today - hello Erik from Ask a Manager! - figured out exactly who Primo is.

I am not as sneaky as I thought I was and you guys are smart.

Although I don't think what I write about Primo's campaign could be damaging - those who are in the know know that he is not going to win, even if the incumbent were to be caught in bed with a live boy or a dead girl, I wouldn't want to embarrass him or anyone on his campaign team.

Still, I am torn. Can you imagine what it would do for my readership for this blog to be exposed? What if I could get a book deal out of it? Primo says I should re-name the blog "The Candidate's Wife." If someone wanted to pay me big bucks to write about a campaign from the spouse's POV - the spouse who does not want to be in the political world and the spouse who does not agree with the candidate on all the issues, then I would happily take the money and run.

I would also happily take the money to write a book about Sly and Doris. Indeed, I already have, although I had to have a fictional somewhat happy ending because who wants to read a book about the reality of mean inlaws? We want redemption or the possibility of redemption in what we read. I do, anyhow.

But there is no scandal in Primo's campaign, alas. No sex. No bribery. No prostitutes. No texted photos of naughty bits. No lavish parties. No gifts from donors. (There have to be donors.) I would like some lavish gifts. I want a new purse. This one. (It's even made in the US!)

Where is that guy who was so good to the governor of Virginia? Tell him to call me. We could use a new car, too. We have two cars, but one of them is a '65 Corvair that I have no interest in driving and that can't leave the garage when it is raining.

No pregnant volunteers and no lying about who the daddy is. I don't have cancer. Neither of us get $400 haircuts. We both go to Carol and she charges $21. We tip $5 and give a bigger Christmas tip. Plus she is our friend.

Dang. I realize that we are doing this all wrong. If I want a book deal, I have to write about something more interesting than the fact that Primo copy-edits what his social media coordinator posts on facebook.

I decided it is not prudent to post about the campaign before the election. After the election, nobody will care. I will post then. I might have some innocuous posts before November. If I mess up and leave in the name of the district or a coffeeshop that is found only in this city, please let me know! I appreciate you all looking out for me.




  1. Wait, wait! They are painting Mrs. Former-First-Lady-of-Virginia as a love-starved bimbo. All her fault. The Governor did nothing, it was all her. You do not want that - not even for the shopping trip to NYC and the $6,000 watch. Stick with the Corvair - gosh, i loved mine.

  2. As a Virginian, I'm disgusted by the stuff coming out of the trial of the former governor and his wife. Way to throw your spouse under the bus. Oy.

  3. It's really easy to figure out if you are from the same state you are :-) BTW now you have to tell me where you get your steaks!!!

  4. I figured it out, and I’m not even an American. Just so’s you know.

  5. Anon and mephlye - down to the name level? Or just the location?

    I'm not sure I can divulge the steak location. :)

  6. Names for both of you and location. If you want to know the exact post you wrote that made it so searchable, email me and I can let you know: Please let me know the steak location!! I am in search of a good tri tip roast and my BF loves ribeye but i am looking for a cut above what our current meat markets offer in my area. Please?? :-)

  7. PS I just LOVE your blog! I just got fully caught up yesterday. I've been reading it nonstop for a while now. You are a great writer and I feel like I can relate well to many of your stories!!

  8. Pretty much the same as Anonymous in every respect, except that I don’t recall the trail of clues that led to the reveal, and I’m vegetarian so the steak doesn’t tempt me.
    Like Anonymous, I love the blog – the writing and the stories.

  9. You guys, thanks so much for your kind words! I think I just have to wait until after the election to post the campaign stuff and I have to be careful not to write anything mean about the people I like. The people I don't like - I am looking at you, Horrible Campaign Manager from State House campaign, I don't care about. She can know I think she is a HORRIBLE CAMPAIGN MANAGER and that I want our money back.

  10. I would like the purse too, one with a zipper... ; )
    I was the anon that caught yr FB post link awhile back, tho I never would look you up. I love reading your blog. We all have our family crappola, it's nice reading someone else's! I don't even like posting as anon, but too lazy too set up an account.