Tuesday, March 8, 2016

In which Ted finally answers Primo's detailed email about the estate and its assets - which I don't think Primo should have bothered to send - and another note about the house being up for sale

RE The estate. Primo and I just about passed out when we read this. Primo was a little bit excited, which I think is evidence that he has some Stockholm Syndrome or whatever it is when you think that someone who is finally not being an asshole is actually a decent human being.


Ted, for one second, for about the only time since this whole thing started, is not being an asshole.

That does not make him a good person overall and it does not mean all is forgiven. It sure does not mean that his mean, nasty, asshole side will not re-emerge.

And he keeps mentioning, in each email, that he wants to talk to Primo.


There is nothing to discuss! It's not like Ted is helping with anything. Primo will be setting up the trusts after the new year (real time, this is November). He has already asked Ted to send documentation about Ted'sSon's special-needs trust so The Lawyer can make sure this new trust is done properly (or maybe even just put all the Sly and Doris money in the existing special-needs trust).

What is there to talk about?

Ted just wants to browbeat Primo.

Unfortunately, the only people who could browbeat Primo are dead. I cannot - I for sure cannot get him to do what I want when I want it. Although that might be because I am unwilling to employ any tricks like telling him, "You are a Bad Husband and you are abandoning me!"

Subject: Re: Dad's 82nd birthday
From: ted@icloud.com
Date: Tue, 3 Nov 2015 20:56:30 -0500
CC: jack@gmail.com; ted'swife@verizon.net
To: primo@hotmail.com

just read this. looks good to me and you’ve exercised good judgment throughout these very tough times. talk soon


On Oct 23, 2015, at 5:02 PM, primo wrote:


(etc etc - Tons of details about the estate, including a spreadsheet showing all the assets and their current value.) 

RE: The house sale, in which Ted just has to be insulting and to continue to beat a dead horse - the car has been sold and the contract has been signed for the realtor, so what is the point in telling Primo he is wrong?

On Nov 3, 2015, at 9:00 PM, ted wrote:

also suggest you compare notes with Ted'sWIfe about the selling process (not so fun) of her mom’s house—which is complicated by the ding-dong children of Ted'sWife'sStepfather, Ted'sWife'sMother's second and final husband, who own half of the proceeds.

I still think 5% is appropriate commission and that Dad's car was worth more but who gives a shit, as Doris would say? what would we do—give the money to Bernie or Donald?


On Nov 1, 2015, at 11:26 PM, primo wrote:

Ted, Jack,

The house went on the market yesterday. The realtor did more work than he expected in the process of getting it ready to show; he was ready to list it on Tuesday, but that was exactly when I arrived to finish cleaning out the office and guest room. That was a messy process and I did not want to work around showings, so we decided to delay the listing until after I left yesterday morning.

(etc etc) 


  1. Yes Ted's an asshole but I also feel a little sorry for him. He is broken.
    I love the reference to Ted's wife and selling the house. As they don't live where her mother's house is what would she know? And of course Ted doesn't realize that he's the ding-dong child when it comes to Primo.

    1. But he filmed someone who once sold a house. Or something. Because f*** you, he's Ted.

    2. (I hope everyone realized that I assume that that's what would be going on in Ted's mind!)

  2. IT'S A TRAP. He's trying to lull you into complacency so you don't see it coming when he attacks later. Probably through a back door, hoping you'll never notice until it's too late.


    - AC

    (P.S. I say that because I don't believe that Ted would even listen to a lawyer telling him he's the one who's out of line and being hostile, etc. At best, I believe he'd listen to a lawyer say "You have to make nice now so that I have time to process all this and he doesn't feel like he has to put up the extra barriers that would make it harder to get what you want."

  3. I think Ted is realizing that he might be able to draw more flies w/honey than vinegar. I suspect, if he really wants to talk to Primo it's because he realizes he can't bluff his way into getting more money from the estate without actually speaking directly to him and I suspect, he's going to try guilt and/or charm next - then, if that doesn't work, there will be more browbeating.

    Can't you just imagine how it worked with Ted & Sly, Sly being The Smartest Man in the Room, Ted being fawning and nice, then asking for the money, being brow-beaten and having to take it, but then getting the money, anyway? Some perverted version of that is going on now, I suspect.

    Primo needs to be all engineer, no emotion in this. Hard to do, but very effective to nip it in the bud.

    1. He is so good at being UberEngineer when I want something. :)

  4. GD - you've referenced Ted wanting to talk to Primo before. I'm curious about something. Has Ted ever called Primo directly? Unless he doesn't have Primo's number what's stopping Ted from calling?

    1. Yes! He has Primo's phone number! If he wants to talk so, so much, why doesn't he just pick up the phone? I don't know, but I am not complaining, as these calls create secondary stress for me. (If I saw Ted's number on my phone, I would block it.)

    2. So it's a game. If Primo calls me I will. Also maybe it's cheaper if Primo calls?

  5. To paraphrase Mary McCarthy, "Every word Ted says is a lie, including "and" and "the.""

  6. Did someone hack Ted's email?

  7. I wonder whether he suspected Primo was considering hiring someone to act as trustee, and realized he would be much less successful in manipulating someone who felt no familial obligation to him.

    He may have realized he was pushing too hard right away, so eased back to keep from pushing over a cliff.

  8. I suspect hoovering. Even the most abrasive, terrible manipulators can manage to put on a nice mask if they think it will get them things. But it's only ever a mask, and it will come right off again the first time their target fails to deliver instantly, and with the appropriate amount of deference/praise.