Wednesday, August 10, 2016

In which Primo's ex-wife, who has been in the ground for over two years, also comes back from the dead to haunt us, but fortunately for us, our bonus daughters and their husbands are the total opposite of Ted, that is, they are NICE

Yes. You read that right. Primo's ex - I have forgotten what I named her - has become an issue again.

You would think that once people are dead, they could not make your life more complicated but you would be wrong. Sly and Doris continue to touch us in so many ways and now Primo's ex is doing the same thing.

The difference is that with Primo's ex, his stepdaughters are dealing with it and making it as easy as possible for Primo.

Primo's two stepdaughters are wonderful, lovely young women. Any time Primo says he might have been better off had he never met his ex, I remind him that he would not have his stepdaughters, their husbands, and their children in his life if that were the case.

They are all worth the drama he went through with his ex, who, by all accounts, was a nice person but she and Primo were just not a good fit. They did not date long enough before they married to discover that, which is why even though Primo told me after one month that he was in love with me and wanted to spend his life with me (I was all, "IT'S BEEN A MONTH!" and he said, "Here are some diamond earrings. See?"), we dated for three and a half years before we married.

(Part of that was because it took so long for him to get his divorce but it was mostly because he was gun shy.)


His ex's mother died last summer, as you will have read. Primo went to her funeral two days after Sly's funeral. I am absolutely positive there were more people mourning the ex MIL's passing than mourned Sly's, as the ex MIL was, according to Primo, a lovely lovely lady. He visited her every time he went to California and sent her a mother's day card every year.

But ex MIL, just like ex, died without a will.

When you don't leave a will, you leave trouble for your family.

IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A WILL, MAKE ONE TODAY.  Go ahead. I'll wait. If you must, download a template and complete it and take it with you next door to have your neighbors witness your signature, then make a copy for the people who need to know and give it to them. Trust me, this is better than nothing. DO IT.

(And if you have minor children and do not have a will already where you designate guardians for your children, may God have mercy on your soul.)

Ex's mom died without a will. Years ago - this would have been more than 15 years ago, because it's been that long since Primo and his ex split, Primo and his ex borrowed some money from ex MIL or lent her some money or whatever.

That issue has somehow come up in the sale of ex MIL's house (which is right by the new Apple campus in San Jose, so Primo's stepdaughters are going to have enough money to pay for their kids' college, which I think is fabulous) and Primo has to sign something assuring people that he does not have a claim on ex MIL's estate.

Which of course he does not. Why would he?

Here is how fabulous his stepdaughters/my bonus daughters are :

They are paying to send a notary TO OUR HOUSE to DELIVER THE PAPERS TO PRIMO for him to sign and have notarized AT OUR HOUSE.

That is, they are going out of their way to make it very very easy for Primo to do this.

THEY ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. They are thoughtful and considerate and are not thinking of Primo as someone who should jump just because they say so.

That is, if Ted is white, they are black. If Ted is matter, they are anti-matter. If Ted is A, they are Not A. They are the total opposite of Ted. They. Are. Nice.


  1. I'm pretty sure the rename was Isabel. Or something similar.

    And yes, how lovely to have people who just get "this is for my benefit, let me make it as easy as possible for the person who has to do the work". Awesome people.

    1. There was an Isabel, but I think (?) it was someone else. Maybe one of Primo's stepdaughters?


  2. I thought Ex's name started with a B? Brenda. But not that.

    My mom and my stepdad divorced when I was 19. He's still my dad, though. Sometimes marriage DOES bring wonderful people into our lives, even when the two people who married don't stay together....

  3. I thought it was bertha. oh well. love the term "bonus daughters".

  4. Oh right! It was Bertha at first, but then I thought that was too mean. I didn't even know the ex and it felt petty to be nasty to her when I 1. had Primo and 2. was not dying. So I changed it to something else.

    1. Isabel.

    2. All the old posts I am just now reading say Isabel

  5. If you blog has taught me anything it is that I need to write a will. I have minor children, and my husband and I have nothing set up :/ It's just something we've never thought about because we're young (and stupid?). BUT tonight! we are going to sit down and start writing it all out. At least your frustrating situation is generating some good in the world! :)

    1. Anon, I don't think there are words to describe how happy your comment makes me. :)