Thursday, January 24, 2013

Wednesday July 25 letter from Doris

Doris sent me an email. She BCC'd Primo on it. Because - because - because I don't know why. That's just how that family rolls. They blind copy everyone on everything so they can be even more indignant about the injustices that are done to them.

I've intended to write you ever since you started your new job--congratulations on your tenacity to find the position in this poor employment climate. Primo has said how supportive you have been in his new venture and how much of the household burden you already shoulder. How was your garden this season? It saddens me greatly that I am mostly unable to keep up with even a minimum of flower bed maintenance. Right now the weeds are winning.

I hope you and Primo will enjoy your upcoming week on [the lake]. I'll venture that you don't include swimming up there. A friend of mine from my working days at [a chemical company] accompanied me on a short vacation to Michigan's Upper Peninsula and Lake Superior's Copper Harbor. She was a strong swimmer and actually swam quite a distance in the ICE COLD water. Not me! I can barely stand any chill these days and if the sun isn't shining and the pool water isn't over 80, I don't go to water aerobics.

We are very pleased that Primo's employer has granted him a leave of absence for the remainder of the campaign season. I've cautioned him not to put his fiscal security in serious jeopardy. Our nation, from my perspective, is in a precarious state with little hope of immediate or near term fixes. I believe our political system is too broken for either "party" to remedy, and the ideological extremists make the situation worse with each passing day. As I've told Primo I can't afford to waste my vote by staying away from the polls, but casting a vote for [the Polka Dot candidate] will be painfully necessary because [the Stripe's candidate] vision and personal profile portend a bleak and frightening alternative.

How do you answer that? I wrote something nice about the garden, then told her I could understand her reluctance to vote for the Polka Dot guy because I would have to have a gun to my head to vote for him.

There will be a price to pay for that response. Oh well.

PS Doris and I usually vote for different "parties."


  1. I don't know how I would have responded to that one. Probably I would have commented on the gardening and cold swims at the lake part and ignored the rest.

    1. Jen, I have have discovered that's the best strategy, although then she complains that I don't engage with her. But if I did engage on the political stuff, it would tick her off as well, because she and I do not agree on these things. Why talk about politics with people who are just going to get angry that you don't agree with them? I have plenty of friends on the other side with whom I have calm, rational, interesting conversations about issues. We are both genuinely interested in understanding why the other thinks as they do. But Doris is not like that.

      Primo was shocked that my uncle had a conversation with him about abortion while they were grilling the steak a few years ago. "We don't agree!" Primo said in astonishment. "But he didn't yell at me. He didn't get angry. He just wanted to understand my point of view!"

      I pointed out that was just one more example of why my family was superior to his.

  2. That is a tough one. Taken in the very, very, very best light ... perhaps she was trying, awkwardly, but trying.

    At least she had nothing ugly to say about you. A small good thing, methinks.

    1. Webb, yes, sometimes she tries. She is not the instigator of the ugliness of the relationship. It is mostly Sly, with her going along with him to reduce the abuse in her life. I feel bad for her, being married to a jerk like that.