Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Thursday Oct 25 The jerk at the phone bank‏

Not everyone was thrilled to get a political phone call, but most of them were polite - "Thank you, I'm not interested right now" - or just hung up, which I thought was offensive until I realized that they were under no obligation to talk to me whatsoever and I would rather have a hangup than this guy.

Here's how our conversation went.

Me: Hello. May I speak to the Jerk du Jour?

Jerk du Jour: This is Jerk.

Me: Good evening, Mr du Jour. My name is Gold Digger and I am calling on behalf of my husband, Primo, who is running for the state house in our district.

JJ: What party?

Me: He's running as a Polka Dot.

[Long pause, which I take as a sign that JJ is not a fan of Polka Dots, so I throw in some more information.]

Me: He's married to a Stripe.

JJ: Can he afford to divorce her?

Me (laughing): No sir, he cannot.

JJ: He'll have to beat his wife into submission. 

Me (confused): I would rather he not beat me, but we would appreciate your considering voting for him. [Sometimes, I don't get mad enough and react way too nicely to awful things.]

JJ: I'm a Polka Dot, but -- No! He's obviously not a Polka Dot! He must be a Stripe plant! I'm not voting for him! [Slams phone down.]

Me (to dead phone line): Oh right. Like you're going to vote for his Stripes opponent?


  1. I bet you're not sorry you missed this one while doing doors.

    1. I was shaking after that call. I couldn't believe someone was so mean to a perfect stranger. What a jerk. He would have been horrible to meet in person.